Why I Glued My Dog's Ears to His Head. No, Seriously.
I bought the most-often recommended glue, Tear Mender, which is a flexible natural-latex glue, and did a test last weekend. (The site even offers instructions.) Jake didn't seem to mind too much. Occasionally he would sit down and scratch at it to loosen it, nothing more. But after one day, I got nervous, and got down on the floor with Jake and some Goo Gone and removed the glue. But you know what? The ear stayed down, and looked amazing. For two whole days. But then it went back into its old position, across the top of his head.
So then I tried the other oft-prescribed method of using duct tape, which is also shown and talked about a ton in the dogosphere. YouTube videos, even! You create a kind of headgear with the tape, folding it over itself so it makes a band that goes under the chin without pulling the hair, and then attaching it on either side to each ear. Then you lap two pieces of duct tape over the top of the dog's head to hold it in place. It's a great idea -- but it didn't work. Well, it DID work at making me laugh until my sides hurt. See evidence below. Looks like grandma is wearing a shower cap. Or one of those olde-tymey football helmets. Or wrestling headgear. Or… duct tape!!
But Jake was able to pull it off quite easily and quite quickly. I tried three times. One morning he woke up wearing a duct-tape necklace; the other times, he just got it loose with a paw until he could get his teeth around it.
So I tried, again, to make my peace with the ears. But I can't. I just can't. Especially because a new version of the ears is the "combover," and I'm so sorry I don't have a picture of that. I was too busy weeping to take photos. He lets one ear flop to the side in a rose ear shape, with the other lying across his head, so he looks like a middle-aged middle manager trying to fool us all into thinking he has PLENTY of hair. Or, er, ears.
So I decided to commit and do the work that's needed to fix the ears once and for all. And that entails gluing the tip of his ear to the side of his head, and to keep regluing it as the glue works loose (one of the plusses of the latex glue is that it is flexible, and therefore, more comfortable, but that means it comes loose easily). This past weekend, I welcomed him as he came out of his cage in the morning, ready for our morning snugglefest. As he stretched and preened, I petted and stroked and rubbed and cooed and kissed. And while he was relaxing, I gently applied Tear Mender on the tips of his wayward ears with my fingers, and pressed them lovingly against his cheeks for 120 seconds and… glued his ears into the shape they were meant to be.
Insane? Justifiable? Too weird to be true? Have you ever done weird things for your pet?