Why I Don't Really Love Valentine's Day...
Valentine's Day is rapidly approaching and according to every single commercial, and retail store you must celebrate it. What are the exact origins of Valentine's Day anyway? Well kids, I did my research a'la Google and honestly, there is no definitive answer. There was said to be a Bishop named St. Valentine who secretly married people (around 270 AD) when it had been banned by some dude named Claudius as he saw married men as being to weak, and therefore unable to fight as soldiers in war. Although there is no solid proof of this, and it is said that St. Valentine signed a note he wrote to his lover "From Your Valentine".
When I was a kid I obsessed over buying the cutest Valentines from the store. Why? Because we all had that handmade card holder attached to the front of our desk at school for people to drop their Valentines Day cards and treats for us into. I would really, really, stress about how many cards or treats I would get, and who would give me one. Just think of Charlie Brown with his briefcase in class on Valentine's Day...ummm...yeah that was me..kinda...well a lot. I put all of my hopes on this one day.
There is something about Valentine's Day that drives women into a frenzy of emotions. There is the bitter girl, the angry girl, the 'I don't need a man anyway' girl, the over emotional girl, and the 'I'm in love with love' girl. Which one are you? I think on some level I may have been everyone of these girls at different points in my love life. There were the high school years of pure naivety when I thought the girls who had huge flowers bouquets, candy-grams, or dates for Valentine's were the luckiest and prettiest girls. Then came the college years when I had my string of heartbreaks and thus could care less about Valentine's Day.
Fast forward to after college where I hoped to live out the type of Valentine's Day you see in the movies: He sends you flowers at work. You arrive at his house after work and walk into a room filled with rose pedals strewn across the floor, and candles lit. There is dinner, wine, and the most amazing night ending with making love while Sade plays in the background. Needless to say that did not, and frankly has yet to happen.
As I grew older I became less into Valentine's Day. Don't get me wrong...Love is amazing and I really do believe celebrating it is essential in life. But there is something cheesy and unromantic to me about Valentine's Day now. Uh-oh have I fallen into the bitter girl attitude? No, I would just rather a man want to show me he loves me in his own way, and on any other day of the year just because that's the way he feels, and not because Hallmark says he should. Look, there is nothing wrong with being excited about Valentine's Day, buying roses, sexy lingerie, and celebrating it, but there is something wrong with basing how a man or woman feels about you based on their behavior on that one day out of the year.
I've seen a lot of women pressuring their men into making a grand romantic gesture just because it's Valentine's Day, and to that I say what has he done for you every other day of the year? Does he text you good morning everyday? Cook dinner for you? Sit through that damn chick flick every time you want to watch it? Is he as nice to your family as he is to his? Tell you your beautiful when you're not dressed up? Pull you close when your cold? Talk about you to his friends? Cuddle with you? These are all things any girl would love to have in their life everyday, so realize that although Valentine's Day is technically February 14...if you have a man or woman in your life that does any of these things, is there for you, listens to you, puts you first, and loves you. Well then you have Valentine's Day every day of the year.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Actress & Writer
Feature Writer: Uptown Magazine