When will my head catch up?

When will my head catch up?

I'm really beginning to love Thursday morning weigh-ins. Today is the third consecutive Thursday the scale has told me I have 10 pounds or less to lose to reach my goal. As I've mentioned previously, it doesn't last until Mondays – my "official" weigh-in day. But Thursdays are pretty sweet.

If you'll recall, my original goal of losing 50 pounds this year has been met. I've been three or four pounds below that for several weeks now, and that feels great. I wore a pair of size 8 jeans last night.

EIGHT! I never thought I'd fit into a pair of size 8 jeans again. (In my closet now are various brands of jeans in sizes 8, 10 and 12*, all of which fit well. So it's the label, not the size. BUT STILL! EIGHT!)

Here's the thing, though. My head still thinks I'm an XL. When I put those jeans on yesterday, I wondered if they'd be comfortable enough to wear or if I'd have to put them back in the closet for another, thinner, day.

Most of the time my head thinks I'm still that fat lady hiding in yoga pants and tunic tops. And they had to be dark colors, which are – after all – slimming, right? (Last night's outfit was purple.)

There are lots of theories about why those last 10 pounds are lost at a slower rate than the previous XX were. And LOTS of tips to speed up the process. I wonder if this head game is making it more difficult, subconsciously, to finish the job.

As I've also mentioned previously, this is what maintenance is all about. I didn't hit that 50-pounds-gone mark and dive into a cookie jar, because it isn't just about weight loss. If I ate cookies, I'd feel bad, not mentally, but physically. I've tested wheat and sugar, with cake and crackers. Based on those experiments, I don't think cookies would agree with me.

I've been able to eat a little dairy – the occasional sprinkle of goat cheese or feta on a salad – with no ill effects. I'm very happy about that, but I doubt I'll ever again chow down on a chunk o'cheddar for an evening snack. I still haven't tried legumes of any kind. Not sure why. Soon, though – Hoppin' John for New Years!

This post isn't about losing the last 10 pounds, though. It's about making my mental image of myself match what I see in the mirror. My personal theory is that until those two pictures begin to merge, I'm going to remain stuck here.

Which, honestly, isn't a bad place to be.

Perhaps I should be lobbying to change the BMI value for normal to 27. Because then I'd be DONE!

*Size 12s are Lee Riders, size 10s are Kohl's Sonoma brand and size 8s are from Christopher & Banks.


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