When An Online Dating Site Matches You With Your Ex
When it comes to love, and relationships, I know I tend to give people too many chances. Many times, those chances are built on the basis that maybe there is a reason I am meeting this person, or maybe the circumstances previously, just weren’t correct.
In the case of Frat Guy, who I dated in college, and gave way too many chances to then, I do sometimes think about him, and that if we met at a different time in our lives, we would have been really good together.
Looking back, I would freak out even then about stuff. I remember on more than one occasion having a really bad anxiety attack, talking to him and then getting in the car, driving down to his frat house and just lie next to him in bed, or on his couch, and him just holding me, while I calmed down.
There is so much history, both good and bad, between us, it’s ridiculous.
At one point he hooked me up with one of his frat brothers, then got jealous. We spent a weekend together at the Jersey Shore, he spent days with me at my friend’s beach house, I spent time with him at this beach house over almost every Memorial Day Weekend. He spent the night before I graduated college with me partying till all hours of the night.
I slept with his best friend. He came and got me from a mixer at a frat house next to his, because he didn’t want me hanging out there. I slept at his house one night, and ended up meeting his mom the next morning, because my car’s alarm was going off.
My ex-boyfriend almost got into a fight with him, because he grabbed my ass and was trying to kiss me at a bar we were all at. I took one of my sorority sisters out for her 21st birthday, in a completely different city, and he was at the same bar with is frat brothers.
The stories could go on, and on.
That said, I get an email notification the other day saying someone sent me a message on Plenty of Fish. As soon as I saw the initials and the numbers after them, I knew.
Are you kidding me? I started to laugh and opened the POF app on my phone. When I click on the messages icon, there is Frat Boy’s face with the words, “Top Prospect.”
Where is the feedback button, so I can tell POF how crazy this is?
You could argue that POF is pretty darn good to have matched Frat Boy and I as highly compatible, especially when we now live on completely opposite sides of the state. Clearly, if we had dated, then there was an attraction there, so whatever formula they use to match people online, but be pretty accurate.
You could also argue, are you freaking kidding me? Your system stinks, because they matched two people who it clearly didn’t work out between.
I’m not sure which argument I believe, except for maybe my own: We are both still single and have had strings of bad relationships, and for some reason we do always keep coming back to each other, despite not seeing each other in person for about 10 years.
That, has to mean something, including that we could both be scared of what would happen if we do hang out, years later and being much more mature than when we first met in college.