What's Wrong With Me???
I decided to create this blog as an atttempt of having a place to write my thoughts and feelings, experiences and crazy obsessions. I feel as if I am a broken record with my family and friends in regards to my daily imbalances; all which include physical, mental and emotional. I just purchased a diary yesterday in leu of creating a blog but after half a page I started getting annoyed and didn't want to finish. I can type way faster than I can write. This will be better for my inability to stay focused on anything for too long.
My husband would like to think nothing is truly wrong with me other than my daddy issues. He always tells me what are you going to do once you find out there is medically nothing wrong with you? I am convinced there is. I can't imagine that how I feel every day is what normal is for me. I refuse to accept this. So I wake up each day not knowing who I am going to be. Am I going to be in pain. Am I going to be sad or depressed. Am I going to be angry and anxious. Am I going to want to hide in my room and sleep, or will I actually have motivation to get something done. All these things I feel I'm plagued with facing each day create a huge weekly imbalance for me. Sometimes even if I wake up in an okay mood and not agitated that things can go south in a matter of minutes. My husband says you need to get more control over your brain. I don't know how to. I've never really been an optimist. I just know when I'm in a funk it overtakes my body. It feels like my nerves running throughout my body are on fire. My neck tenses up, I feel pain, and any touch or wrong statement sets me off and I can't control it.
I feel like I need to go do something productive. Like take a shower and go get groceries. My son does start kindergarten tomorrow so ideally, I would like to create a meal plan for the week and try and show him I care enough to create cute options for him to eat. I came across a blog called : http://wendolonia.com/blog/. She had amazing ideas and great photos for creating awesome lunch box meals for your kids. I wish I could channel my creativity into being consistent with anything. So I printed her ideas and will give it a shot. Lets see if I can do it for more than 2 days.