What's the Deal With "Steak And Blow Job Day"?

What's the Deal With "Steak And Blow Job Day"?

When I first heard about "Steak and Blow Job Day," I cracked up laughing. My husband of seven months insisted that this "holiday," celebrated on March 14, was a day for men to be treated special. He said that I had to cook him a steak and give him a blow job to show him my appreciation. Since these were two things I did regularly, I shrugged him off; what made March 14th any different? He then asked, "Well don't you want extra special things on Valentine's Day? Don't I get you flowers all the time?" I had to admit that he had a point, so I humored him and looked online for more information because I wasn't convinced he wasn't pulling my chain.

Imagine my surprise when I stumbled upon the official website for Steak and Blow Job Day!

Steak and Blowjob DayPress image from the official website

This was a real thing, at least according to the internet (where everything is real, right? Right.) While the origin remains unclear, and there are debates about whether the date is March 14 or March 20, the idea of S&BJ Day is wildly popular today, with an “official website”, a Facebook page with over 54,000 “likes," a Twitter account, and several spin-off websites. From women’s rights activists to hardcore gamers, plenty of people have posted reactions and responses on various blogs and online magazines, either adamantly against or feverishly in favor of celebrating this special "man's day."

Men work very hard to satisfy their lovers on Valentine’s Day, and given their ebullient dedication, Steak and Blowjob Day is a joyous opportunity to repay the favor. [...] March 14th is “Steak and Blowjob Day.” Simple, effective and self-explanatory; it allows the ladies to demonstrate their reciprocal appreciation. No cards, no flowers, no special nights on-the-town; the name explains it all: just a steak and BJ. That’s it. - www.officialsteakandblowjobday.com

Some argue that men celebrating a holiday when they get to demand that women cook and perform this specific sex act reflects the oppressive tradition of patriarchy restricting women's freedom of choice, particularly when it comes to sex and relationships. Women should be able to choose when they want to cook for their partners and when they want to perform whatever sex acts they want. In her feminist critique of Steak and Blow Job Day, Nora Seilheimer wrote:

For me, what is the most frustrating about the evolution of Steak and Blow Job Day is its uncanny resemblance to men’s general reaction to feminism on the whole. Much like the letter “V,” the letter “F” scares men off. They see women’s rights incorporated with the feminist movement as they see romance incorporated with Valentine’s Day and struggle to find a way to relate. Therefore, they reject it all together and create something of their own, or bad mouth the already existing group or event from which they feel unattached.

On the other hand, we can argue that Valentine's Day has become an opportunity for women to make similar, yet more acceptable demands. Woe be unto the man who forgets to bring home flowers or candy, or set up a special spa day or romantic dinner on V-Day! According to the folklore, it isn't that men are exactly demanding anything; they're asking for a special day to have their needs met. Who doesn't love great food and even better sex?

steakImage: tarale via Flickr Creative Commons license

This is where things get tricky, because this idea assumes that men are all the same and share the same set of base wants/needs. There are plenty of men who have no interest in eating a steak, like vegetarians, vegans, or those refrain from consuming red meat for health reasons. There are even men who don't particularly enjoy blow jobs. Yes, you read that correctly. Some men simply don't enjoy receiving oral sex from their partners, for reasons that might include past sexual trauma, physical desensitization, or simply general disinterest. Why should we assume that every man wants to be celebrated with a big slab of meat and having their meat slobbed? Maybe he wants to celebrate "Salad and Shower Sex Day," or something more in line with his tastes.

If the idea is that women have taken over Valentine's Day and men feel left out, I don't see anything terribly wrong with designating a special, universally acknowledged day for men to be shown some extra love. Women can use S&BJ Day as an opportunity to turn the tables and treat their guys to a special meal and kinky fun. If the focus is on dragging knuckles and grunting demands for meat and wet mouths, I get why some women would balk. That doesn't sound appealing to me, and I love a big chunk of meat. (Ahem.)

We should consider, though, why we continue to feminize romance and reduce masculinity to emotionless simplicity, and how the perpetuation of these ideas does little to narrow the divide between men and women.

However you feel about it, S&BJ Day continues to grow in popularity, even if primarily as an internet meme. Who knows? You might even see greeting cards pop up at your local gift shop in the near future.

Related Posts

Comments

In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.