What John Green Taught Me About My Eating Disorder & Wasting Time
I read The Fault In Our Stars by John Green about 8 months ago and it touched me deeply. The common threads of being vulnerable, the unknown and dying are delicately intertwined where two young people learn to live life to the fullest because they face the possibility of dying everyday. What I took away is that each day of our lives are characterized by these three things, as none of us know what or who will hurt us, what tomorrow will bring to us and none of us ultimately know when we will take that last breath.
I felt immense sadness as I thought about all the wasted time and energy I allowed my eating disorder to use up by worrying about what I look like, what I weigh, what I should or shouldn't eat, and all the valuable headspace in my intelligent brain that I could of used more wisely. I missed out on so much of my life by allowing my eating disorder to take away my time, energy and emotional space. If there is one important thing I've learned in my healing process it's this,
“Living a meaningful life can never be found in the disconnected, and empty space of an eating disorder. It will always require and convince you to look for your value and self-worth based upon a number on a scale. You will never find yourself there because as a human being you were never meant to be measured in such a small, superficial and insignificant way.” - tina klaus
Sighhhhhh.....that's me taking a deep breath trying not to beat myself up and to simply acknowledge what is done is done. Now I'm trying to keep my focus on my recovery, living better and much happier days. I have found the courage to create the life I want and to simply be me. Change can happen if you are willing to feel uncomfortable and decide that you don't want to live a life driven by and entangled with an eating disorder.
I will definitely keep this book on my bookshelf with all the other special books that have touched my soul and the quote I have forever put in my memory bank.
Tina Klaus | Speaker + Writer