What John Green Taught Me About My Eating Disorder & Wasting Time

What John Green Taught Me About My Eating Disorder & Wasting Time

I read The Fault In Our Stars by John Green about 8 months ago and it touched me deeply. The common threads of being vulnerable, the unknown and dying are delicately intertwined where two young people learn to live life to the fullest because they face the possibility of dying everyday. What I took away is that each day of our lives are characterized by these three things, as none of us know what or who will hurt us, what tomorrow will bring to us and none of us ultimately know when we will take that last breath. 

I felt immense sadness as I thought about all the wasted time and energy I allowed my eating disorder to use up by worrying about what I look like, what I weigh, what I should or shouldn't eat, and all the valuable headspace in my intelligent brain that I could of used more wisely. I missed out on so much of my life by allowing my eating disorder to take away my time, energy and emotional space. If there is one important thing I've learned in my healing process it's this, 

“Living a meaningful life can never be found in the disconnected, and empty space of an eating disorder. It will always require and convince you to look for your value and self-worth based upon a number on a scale. You will never find yourself there because as a human being you were never meant to be measured in such a small, superficial and insignificant way.” - tina klaus   

Sighhhhhh.....that's me taking a deep breath trying not to beat myself up and to simply acknowledge what is done is done. Now I'm trying to keep my focus on my recoveryliving better and much happier days. I have found the courage to create the life I want and to simply be me. Change can happen if you are willing to feel uncomfortable and decide that you don't want to live a life driven by and entangled with an eating disorder.

I will definitely keep this book on my bookshelf with all the other special books that have touched my soul and the quote I have forever put in my memory bank.

                 The Fault in Our Stards

 

Tina Klaus | Speaker + Writer

www.dontlivesmall.com

 

Related Posts

Body Dysmorphic Disorder: The Lady Thing I Won't Talk About. Even With Feminists.

So, I have been thinking (ahahaha, I know, right?  Because we ladies, we NEVER do that too much.  Sigh).  And it was because of the Jezebel post about the MTV True Life episode, which I just watched, on Body Dysmorphic Disorder.   Read more >

Tracey Gold's Starving Secrets: Is It Helping or Hurting?

Recently I watched the first two episodes of Lifetime's new eating disorder reality show (yes, I really typed that) starring Tracey Gold called Starving Secrets. It's a subject I keep coming back to despite the ickiness of it, because only 30-40% of anorexics ever fully recover, and I did. I understand how hard it is to break the cycle. It's really important for that those of us who have done so talk about it, just so those still suffering know it is possible. And so, the show.   Read more >

The Connection Between Eating Disorders and Postpartum Depression

Pregnancy brings on a lot of changes quickly -- both physical and mental. It's no surprise to me that women previously diagnosed with eating disorders are at a higher risk for postpartum depression, but recently Stephanie Zerwas of the University of North Carolina flipped it around and looked to see if women who came in for postpartum depression and anxiety had previously suffered from an eating disorder. Thirty-five percent of them had -- compared to seven or eight percent in the general population. Eating disorders, then, could be a risk factor for postpartum depression.   Read more >

Comments

In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.