We Need a Village to Raise Mixed Race Children

We Need a Village to Raise Mixed Race Children

 Photo by Justice Beitzel via Creative Commons

My husband and I can’t raise our biracial kids alone.

We need your help. As a society we need to work together to raise confident, happy kids. It’s cliche but our children are the future of this planet.

This weekend’s mass killings of at UC Santa Barbara have been weighing on my mind. Elliot Rodger, the shooter,  is Hapa: his mother is Malyasian Chinese and his father British. It’s very likely that his perception of his race was a root of his anger and depression (he possibly identified as mixed race Asian). He didn’t like being Asian and “saw it as a flaw in his quest for women” (source). While Rodger’s rage is more complex than race, it was a huge factor in his lack of happiness.

In February, an NPR story popped up in my Facebook feed: How I Learned to Feel Undesirable by 32-year-old Noah Cho. With a Korean father and a white mother, Cho never felt like he belonged. He looked more like his father, but the world around him told him Asian males were the least desirable of all races. Even though he’s happily married for 10 years, he still feels this way.

America, what are we doing to our children?

While every parent and family have their own rules and way of doing things, we need to consider the consequences of what we teach our children. Our children will take those viewpoints and spread them to everyone they touch: their best friends at school and the lonely misfits in the corner.

Parents aren’t the only ones responsible. The media bombards us with images of the ideal body, the perfect mate, the best race. Some of it is subliminal (we hardly see Asian men or dark-skinned African American women on magazine covers).  Others slap us in the face with it (Hello, Sixteen Candles). 

I can teach my kids that they are beautiful and their mixed race heritage is to be celebrated, but how long can I fend off media and societal prejudices? My husband and I do our best to raise strong, confident,  and loving children before sending them out into the world. But we need everyone to raise their children to celebrate diversity, no matter what your family’s racial make-up or cultural heritage.

We need our village to raise our mixed race children to love themselves.

So there aren’t tragic events like what happened in Santa Barbara. So that the Noah Chos of the world will see himself as a enough.

I started my blog as a way to share the multicultural resources I discovered. I originally searched for these books, movies, and toys to show my children that they are not alone. Then I realized that no matter our race, all of our children need to see the diverse world around. Everyone needs to read these books. Everyone needs to watch those movies and television shows and celebrate the diversity in them. They are the conversation starters.

Will you join me?

This post originally appeared on I'm Not the Nanny

-Thien-Kim

Thien-Kim wishes she got paid to nanny her own children. She blogs at  I’m Not the Nanny and is the head book nerd at From Left to Write, a virtual book club community for bloggers.

Related Posts

Race, Gender and Rage: My Peek Into the Twisted World of Elliot Rodger

At first glance, the UC Santa Barbara murders appear to be another senseless case of gun violence. If anything, news coverage has framed the mass killings of seven college students as a case of a white male who desperately needed psychological intervention, or perhaps as a story of a young man angry at feminism. But there is another factor besides affluence and misogyny that fueled the rage that led Elliot Rodger on his deadly spree Friday night: race.   Read more >

INTERVIEW: Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers on Women, Work, and Politics

Ten-year Congressional veteran Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers, who represents eastern Washington State, is the highest-ranking Republican woman in the House of Representatives . Last January, Rodgers delivered the rebuttal to President Obama's State of the Union address. Recently, I had a chance to interview her. Among other things, we talked about what it's like to be a working mother on Capitol Hill and about her outlook for women in the GOP.   Read more >

Elliot Rodger Is Not The Only Man Who Wants To Kill Women

Elliot Rodger, the 22-year-old man who shot up a sorority house in California this week, killed and injured a number of young women because he believed they owed him sex and admiration. He believed in and was wholly part of the men's rights movement—a community that is growing larger as the voices of feminists are growing. It’s frightening and it needs to be known. And the #YesAllWomen Twitter hashtag is giving women a place to tell their stories.   Read more >

Comments

In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.