Tuesday Afternoon.. Reflections of A Mother With A Special Needs Child
I really do wish I knew then, what I know now. The most important lesson that I have learned is that even though we have our good and bad times ( depending on what’s happening in our lives ) Dominic’s “condition” is not the end of the world. It just isn’t. It isn’t even the worst thing that has ever happened in my life. Not even close.
I have so many opinions about the world’s view on my kid. A lot of them aren’t very nice. I am only a little ashamed to admit that when I heard the story about the couple from Italy who found that one of the twins they were expecting had down syndrome, they had the baby aborted.. Then they found out that the wrong baby had been aborted.
Then I reconsidered the thought that they gotten what they deserved. They didn’t and I know that it’s not my place to even think something like that. I can tell you what happened.. They probably were treated the same way that I was by the medical professionals they were working with. They were probably so full of fear that they actually thought that they were doing the right thing by aborting the fetus with down syndrome.
Or there really is the thought that I had initially. They are selfish people who don’t want to deal with the “burden” of a handicapped child. You can’t be certain of the future. You can have a perfectly healthy and normal child. That child has a chance of becoming not so healthy or perfect. Then what? It’s not my place to judge anyone for anything but, if you aren’t capable of loving your own child through a handicap, then you shouldn’t be a parent. Period.
There may come a day when perfect and healthy baby is playing football, breaks their neck and becomes paralyzed from the neck down. Then what. The day may come when your perfectly healthy baby girl is in a serious horseback riding accident and suffers a brain injury that forever alters who she is as an individual. Then what?
There are people who are of the opinion that it is wrong to have these children. They really do believe that people with down syndrome have no real quality of life. Really? I have some things that I would love to share and to show those people.
Dominic loves to go to the park. He loves the swings and the slide.
He wakes up in the morning and sometimes he has oatmeal for breakfast but sometimes he likes pancakes. This kid cannot get enough orange juice, milk and Teddy Grahams. He also really likes bananas and cream cheese bagels.
He hates salsa.
He doesn’t like popcorn ( yet )
He loooooooves ice cream and it doesn’t even matter what kind
He loves elephants, dogs, cats, horses, goats…… He loves animals. He and his dog, Lulu, are inseperable.
He likes to sing, dance and draw on his easel.
His favorite toy right now is a fire truck.
He likes to jump on his bed.
Dominic likes to watch movies and his favorite one right now is a toss up between Shrek and The Smurfs. Sometimes, he would rather read books either by himself or with me and his dad, than watch television.
Dominic also is very ticklish and will sometimes ask you to tickle him. He laughs. I love to hear him laugh. Big belly laughs and giggles to the point where he can’t breathe. If you stop he’ll get mad and want more tickles. He has the greatest laugh I have ever heard.
Dominic is also very sensitive to other people. His third grade teacher will tell you that he senses when other children might need extra space, more attention, consoling etc. Dominic has a lot of friends in school. He’s even friends with the school custodian. He will even get upset and worried if someone else is upset or crying.
There’s a common thought that people with down syndrome are always happy. Not true. I can prove it. I have photographic evidence of a tantrum so severe that I had to photograph it and send it to one of my girlfriends who was always saying “He’s always soooooo happy, “