The Truths No One Tells You About Marriage
But that comment... That comment was shitty. Not because he said it, but because he was right.
I am a pretty miserable person to be around sometimes. In part, I am tired. I’m waiting for the rollercoaster to slow down and let me off for a few minutes.
The husband still works a lot and is not home all that often, and after 19 years, I am still not used to it. That’s a good thing right? From what some women say, they would rather the husbands be gone more. Yet, I want mine around. I stay at home and try to keep the boys in line, but some days, like today, the kids win and I end up in the room crying and pissed off that I have no one here to takeover because it is at this moment I am losing my mind again.
At this moment, I feel defeated.
Is it rational? No, not really. Nevertheless, I still have that selfish moment where I want to get in my car and go hide from the world with a bottle of Grey Goose vodka and a box of truffles, if only for an hour or two.
No one ever tells you that sometimes you wake up and think, “Hmm… I really do not want to deal with the world today….and I REALLY do not want to deal with the argumentative teen who is way too much like his mama.”
No one tells you that sometimes being a parent can be really difficult, or that no matter how hard you try, it won’t always turn out the way you thought it would. No one tells you sometimes you will be miserable, and not know why. No one tells you there isn’t a magic pill that will fix your life when you feel like it is out of control, despite how many pills are there to fix everyone else.
No one tells you that you will feel like a failure more times than you will feel like you did it right. No one tells you that sometimes, when you fall, you would rather just stay on the ground for the day then try to get up. That sometimes you will be so angry you will shake all the way into your room before you say something you cannot take back.
That sometimes you will scream so loud you will lose your voice, yet no one will hear you.
You will feel bat shit crazy.
You will think everyone around you is bat shit crazy.
You will wonder if you can do anything right.
However, even after you start to recognize the warning signs that all of the above apply to you, they also do not tell you that it is okay that you feel this way sometimes.
That everything will pass, and you will look back and wonder why you made such a big deal about it. (I do this on a daily basis)
That sometimes you need to pop the balloons and shave the fluffy kittens to make a coat.
That as long as you have someone who is willing and understanding enough to wear the tights for you, you can get through anything, so just hang on.