Top 10 Reasons Why I Would Choose to Be a Lipstick Lesbian (although it’s not a choice)!
Have you seen the recent Durex advert? It talks about how wonderful sex is and about meaningful relationships. It made me think about how lucky I am that I don’t need to worry about condoms in order to have sex. The advert also inspired me to reflect on all the positives to being a lesbian.
I have always been delighted that I am a lesbian, but I have never articulated exactly why it is so great. To be honest it is hard to put into words how wonderful it is. Nonetheless I have tried to narrow it down to a top 10 list:
1. We don’t have to put down toilet seats
Women in general are tidier and care about having a nice environment around them. Not only will you not have to worry about constantly putting down toilet seats and finding pee in the sink or wardrobe after a drunken night out, but it is likely that your home will be prettier, hence the term ‘girlie’.
2. We don’t have to worry about contraception to prevent childbirth
Contraception is a minefield. I have heard all manner of horrible stories about coils getting stuck and pills being misplaced. What is more, you have to be organised in advance. As lesbians we need not worry about this and if we feel like sex we can have it wherever and whenever we like.
3. You automatically gain a best friend as well as a lover
When you are in a lesbian relationship your partner also becomes your best friend. Unlike straight relationships you don’t have to have ‘lads’ versus ‘ladies’ nights. Yes you have separate friends – at least you should. However, you also know that she is your best friend.
4. Women communicate better
Even if we may not always like what she is saying at least we can handle honest conversation. Women talk about feelings and don’t have to skirt around it like they do with a man. In addition we are not scared of commitment and don’t have to wait until we are asked for our hand in marriage. There are no rules in a lesbian relationship.
5. There won’t be any fluid flying around the room
Yes this is a horrible fact, but it is true. Lesbian sex on the whole is cleaner (unless you want it dirty).
6. 2 pairs of breasts and 2 clitorises – what else can I say?
Whoever said lesbian sex is more limited than straight sex, has clearly not experienced a satisfying lesbian relationship or presumes that heterosexual penetration is the only way. Last time I heard most women do not orgasm from penetration in any case. (Although if you do, lesbians can still have penetration)! Lesbian sex is the best – trust me!
7. We can share clothes, jewellery, make up and lots more…
Not only can we share, but we also know what looks good. We take note of what our partner is wearing, how her hair looks and her perfume. Men couldn’t care less about this half the time. Most women dress for women, gay or straight. At least your girlfriend will truly appreciate your efforts. Plus you will get the right lingerie as a gift and not some half-hearted bra and knickers set clumsily selected and most likely in the wrong size.
8. Being with a woman as a woman is just heavenly – why do you think sexual fluidity is so much greater amongst women than men?
Women are attracted to women more than men are to men. This obviously tells you that more women are lesbians than men are gay. And this is because women have a natural physical connection to other women. They are not scared of closeness, they are not afraid to be intimate in all manner of ways and they are not fearful of being real.
9. We don’t think with our penises
As we don’t have penises we are not dictated by testosterone. Although we of course have strong sexual feelings, we don’t just act on impulse and then have to deal with the consequences. We have greater control over our minds and our bodies.
10. Since sex isn’t going to happen with a man – you can have meaningful friendships with them