I Don't Want to Come to Your Jewelry Party
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My new friend is selling one of those jewelry lines. Stella and Bella or whatever. The jewelry is not exactly my taste, but I feel bad not buying anything. She hasn't pressured me at all, however I don't want this to jeopardize a new friendship. Should I just buy something?
Keep Your Crown Jewels Away From Me
Dear Crown Jewels,
Oh, man. We get this question a lot here at Mouthy Housewives. So often, in fact, that I think all colleges and universities should add a class to the curriculum called "Suburban House Party Etiquette." Then everyone would immediately know what to do the first time they see the dreaded Pampered Chef Party! message in their inbox. It's really a public safety issue, if you think about it. Fewer brawls and punches thrown over Tupperware. Less ER visits due to someone being trapped in a trunk during a trunk fashion show.
But being a resident of the suburbs myself, I've been in your situation more times than I'd like to remember. You would probably figure that out if you could see me right now because I'm wearing a three-foot-long glitter crucifix necklace that I bought from my neighbor Gina after she made me feel guilty for not inviting her to my drunk lady pool party. It's so sparkly! And blinding! And heavy. Oh my god, I just fell down. You suck, Gina.
Now, back to your problem. You could solve it in a couple of ways. First, buy the least expensive item she's selling and then give it as a gift to someone you don't like.
Or second, tell her your family is on a strict budget and you can't afford anything right now. This won't stop her from asking in the future, however.
Or third, and probably the most sane of the solutions, tell her the jewelry in that particular line isn't really in your taste because you like things that are more silver, sparkly, understated, expensive, giant and gold, whatever. It's the truth, so she may not like it, but your conscience will be clear and you won't have to keep playing games with her.
And if that works, let me know. I'll try it out with my neighbor Gina.