Soaking it in, letting it go, and holding on
In the nearly seven months since I moved across the country, I’ve changed my perspective on many things and had a few come-to-Jesus moments about the things that matter to me and why. When you no longer have a full time job and you don’t have a car, and don’t know anyone around you, you have a lot of time to think and evaluate the pieces of your life — and I’ve certainly had some revelations, some more than once.
The one thing that I keep hearing from my parents, friends, and mentors is to “embrace this time” and “let things go,” and other tidbits of wisdom that you tell someone in their late 20s looking to change their life. They’re all right, of course, although as I’ve said in previous posts, sometimes easier said than done. I’m not ashamed to say that some days I’ve wondered if I’ll ever have real-life friends again, not just ones I used to see. Or that I yearn for the days when everything was routine and stable, but then five seconds later I remember that it was too routine, and too much of the same, so much so that I needed to get out of it all. I get annoyed when I don’t hear from people I expected to, and I’m overjoyed when I hear from someone I least expected to contact me. I’m bored and I’m content; I’m lonely yet okay with the extended break from the single woman’s life.
But throughout it all, I’ve come to realize what I should let in and soak in, what I should let go, and what I should hold on to for dear life:
Soaking it in:
- Every minute I get with my parents makes up for six years away from them (10 if you count college)
- The freedom to call the couch my office, to obey the Pajama Pants Dress Code, and do the work I want
- Peace and quiet, and the only happy hours I attend is the glass of wine after dinner every night with my family
- The luxury to take this time to choose my path
Letting it go:
- All my hangups about what success means: the title, the job, the money. It’s different now.
- Relationships that are only toxic and hurtful. It’s time to stand up for myself.
- Things I did or didn’t do in the past. The past is the past. I have the present and the future; that’s all that matters.
- My worries about… everything: my future, my finances, finding love, etc. Things will work out in due time.
- My friends that have stuck by me every step of the way, even miles away. They listen, they don’t judge, they encourage.
- My principles and my needs: Whether it’s about a career, a relationship, or a lifestyle, this is my chance to be strong and go after what I want.
- The little things: naps with my dogs, a new running route, a new client, Saturday football, or a letter from a friend.
- The idea of what my future could be. I’m still figuring it out, but it can still be anything I want it to be. No limits.