The slip.

The slip.

Shit.  
My word I blurt out when my brain alerts me!
I did it. 
The moment is here.  
Enough time has passed for me to 'forget'?
Time has allowed my guard to go down. 
I completely overlooked the significance.
 
My youngest child turns sixteen years old tomorrow.
Her daughter died one month shy of her sixteenth birthday.  
My son has always been the baby.  
He was born six years after her daughter. 
Tomorrow he will have out lived her daughter.
How has this happened?
 
Time is such a strange entity.  
While she has lived without her child,
My child has grown.
 
I look to my healthy, handsome child.  
I have been anticipating this day,
Sharing with her my excitement for his future,
My trepidation about him driving, 
My awareness of how soon he will be done highschool...
I didn't think. 
 
It is the first big event I wasn't conscientious about her feelings
I wasn't even sensitive enough to be proactive.
Instead, I invited her to come for birthday dinner and cake.
 
That was the moment.
Shit.  
 
I then babbled an apology and assured her she didn't have to come...
She said I wasn't to think of it like that.  
She was adamant, 'she is my daughter but, he is my nephew who has every right to celebrate his sixteenth birthday!'
 
She kills me.
She will come tomorrow to join in the celebration.
My son will be none the wiser of her private feelings.
We will laugh and rejoice in my son's life.
My son will feel loved and cherished.
 
When we lock eyes,
We will both know she is thinking of the birthday that will never be. 

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