Skinny Girls Feel Fat Too
I once had a boyfriend who said I was, "fat-skinny". After asking for an explanation behind the term, a few things occured to me:
1.) My boyfriend just used the word "fat" in a sentence describing me. Quickly, I pushed the thought away.
2.) Individuals such as myself who are genetically blessed with a "lean" body type and do not have to put forth much effort, have been labeled by society as "fat-skinny". This immediately rang unfair to me. Because I don't have to run 10 miles a day and live off celery and quinoa, I can't simply own the title, "skinny". Because I inherited a fast metabolism, I'm deemed as potentially "lazy"?
3.) Did my boyfriend seriously just call me "fat"?
In case you've never heard the term/label before, he was essentially stating that individuals who are skinny but do not have to work for it, are "fat-skinny". I understood this wasn't a criticism. In his mind, he was simply implying that I'm one of the "lucky ones". He meant no harm. But deep down, I felt hurt. At first, I couldn't figure out why. I racked my brain. Once again, I was over thinking....
SUDDENLY, it hit me like a ton of bricks. It was so simple actually. I felt sad for the "skinny" women out there. I felt sad for the "not-so-skinny" women out there. I felt sad for the young women who are in the midst of developing. I felt sad for my young daughter who has yet to encounter this life sentence of obsessing over our outer image. I felt sad for me. I felt sad that no matter who you are, we can not escape the cosmetic observations that we so dearly (and SO clearly) take to heart. Who you ARE, is what the eyes cannot see; your heart, mind, and soul. How often these pieces of your puzzle that make up your own unique identity, are able to escape the judgement and scrutiny of others; while our outer shell remains visible. Our "shell", is not a reflection of our character. Our "shell" was given to us at birth through genetics with no choice of our own; while our character is built with time through maturity, choices, and beliefs. Imagine if we put in the same amount of time, emotion, work, and energy into our insides as we do to our "shell", what our world would be like.
We are human. We are quick to judge. We are quick to assume. We have feelings. Often, people comment on my weight and how "lucky" I am. But please remember this: inside, I feel just as "fat" as you. My boobs are small (I'm an active member of the "itty bitty titty committee"), I have stretch marks, too many freckles, yada, yada, fricken YADA. Not ONE women you will ever, EVER meet will tell you there is nothing she would change regarding her outward appearance (but if I'm wrong and you meet her, PLEASE send me her picture).
I never took the conversation any further with my boyfriend. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. I mean, COME ON, he called me freakin "fat"! ;)