The Single Mother Survival Guide
If you recently became a single mother or if you are pregnant and about to become one, please take the time to read this post. I have been a single parent since The Happy Boy was born and I have to say, I have been really lucky with all of my family and friends support. But for whatever it's worth, here is what I have learned in this journey:
1. You don't need a man. This one is the most important of all (I even dedicated an entire post to why I would rather be single, read it here). As soon as you convince yourself that you can do whatever you want to without depending on someone (anyone) you already took the first step. Which is most of the time, the hardest.
2. There are no excuses. There is always a way to accomplish whatever you want. I am not saying it is easy, but it is possible. Need money? Get a job. Need someone to watch the kids for you to work? Get a nanny. Oh, but you need money to pay for the nanny? Get a freaking loan while you get settled but DO it.
3. If you are lucky enough to receive child support, dont rely on it. I don't care if you have been receiving it nonstop for 10 years, don't make any financial decisions including this amount to your income. It is impossible to know if the other parent is going to loose his job or simply decide to stop paying child support. Listen to me, I made this huge mistake.
4. Keep your loved ones close and accept their help. The people that loves you will be there for you and help without judging. I used to hate asking people for help for two reasons 1) my son is my responsibility not theirs, so in my head, asking for help meant I was not good enough; and 2) I don't like compromising people. Non of these excuses or valid. We all sometimes need help and trust me, if they already have plans and can't help, they will let you know.
5. Everything will pass. And it will get better. Do not stress out for the things you cannot control (I wrote a post related to this, read it here) and the things you can, give them your best. Even if it seems like it is taking forever, don't let it ruin your day-to-day. Remember happiness is built in a daily basis and, one day, not to far, you will look back to this moment and smile.