Is Silence Better Than Communicating?
Ever have a fight with someone and you both do the "silent treatment"? Is silence really better than communicating... I know this is a double edged sword it seems like. When one or both people are angry it's not the right time to talk (even though we as women naturally want to "talk about it"). An angry person will not think rationally no matter how hard you try to get them to do so. Have you ever realized how much different you think after you have calmed down? Possibly you don't hate him as much or want to rip his head off when you aren't so "fuming". Once both people are calm - then it's the right time to communicate. However, here's where the double edged sword tends to come in sometimes. It might have taken one person a while to calm down and the longer you go without communicating, the harder it gets to talk about it and face it. Also, it gives one or both people more time to "think" and that could be a good thing or a bad thing depending on the quality of their thoughts. Sometimes in the beginning you will be willing to say you are sorry and then the longer the silence goes on, that "sorry" is losing it's confidence in being said. Here's one tip I used to do with a past boyfriend: agree on a time frame that you will both have to "get space" and be ready to talk. I think we used to give ourselves 24 hours. He always took longer than I did to calm down and so that was our compromise to make the relationship work. Having some sort of agreement when arguments come up is also good. You make them when you aren't disagreeing so that when it does occur you both know the "policy" you agreed to and it's easier to come to a conclusion based on that.