Sometimes, You Just Need To Refresh Your Marriage
Marriage is hard. I'm not going to lie to you. If you're like my Husband and I, sometimes the needs of life get in the way of your relationship. These are the times when you need to take a day and refresh your marriage.
Things were a mess. The children, his job, my blog, my issues, his issues, everyone else's drama-- all took center stage in our life. It had gotten to the point where we both felt like we were just going through the motions wanting only to get through the day and go to bed, only to do it over and over again day after day. Finally, the Husband had had enough.
Over the course of a weekend we talked, we argued, and then we talked some more. We let things marinate for awhile and then talked some more. We had a lot of air to clear, but we cleared it all. The only downside to laying all your cards on the table is that you feel emotionally raw after it all. You need to be reminded why you're still loved; we both did.
Image: Scatto Felino via Flickr
We decided to take a Saturday and refresh our marriage. It was short notice, so finding a sitter to go away was not an option. We didn't want to spend the money to go away either. Instead of going to a spa, I brought the spa to us. I got a TV tray for snacks and bought lots of candles and bath salts. I turned our bedroom into an oasis complete with nonstop romantic movies via Netflix.
That morning, I sent the Husband to the gym. It's something he loves to do, but rarely has the time. That in and of itself was a blessing to him. While he was away, I readied the house, gave the kids who were home breakfast. Upon his return, he showered, we ate our breakfast and then went to our room and locked ourselves in.
We spent the day watching romantic movies. We nibbled on a platter of cheeses and prosciutto. The white wine flowed all afternoon. We talked about creating a bucket list for our marriage. We recalled old times. We cuddled and fed each other Vosges chocolate which I swear either has Viagra in it or some other powerful aphrodisiac. It's delicious, but eat at your risk. It's definitely the best chocolate you'll ever eat in your life. At some point during our love in, we reconnected. We were more in love that night when we went to bed than we were when we walked into our bedroom that morning.
We made a promise, to do this once a month. To take a day for us, secluded away from the kids. To give us time together to breathe and remember what's most important. Our marriage.