Party of One
Single motherhood is a gift, in many ways. I have control over the household decisions, I don't have to share holidays and weekends (in my particular situation, since divorce was followed by father falling off the face of the earth), and I have a close, loving relationship with my one and only son. But being the 'single mom' also has it's curses. Don't get me wrong, I'm very fortunate in that I have a great job and a supportive family. I realize that I am, perhaps, not the majority of single moms that have financial struggles and no support system. I am not here to negate those very important issues faced by many single moms, either. What I want to focus on, however, is another struggle faced by those of us in the one parent household. And if you haven't faced it, then you are very fortunate. What I am speaking of is the ostracization of the single mom. Have any of you dealt with being shunned? Maybe not to your face, but quietly left out of the group of other moms in 'traditional' families? After your child's game, all the families are going out to dinner together to celebrate...but you simply didn't get invited? Are you not included in the neighborhood women's gatherings? Do your neighbors not quite take to you because you don't have a husband to friend their husband? If any of you has experienced similar, you know what I'm talking about. It's a heartbreaking situation. You don't necessarily care about being included for yourself, but more for your child or children. The fact is, if you're left out, they are likely left out. So, don't get me wrong here. I am not whining about being left out of the 'social circle' for my own selfish reasons. I am questioning why people are so afraid to include the single parent just as they would the 'traditional' parent(s), especially when it comes to the kids. And I do struggle with using the word traditional to describe married parents because, as we all know, that is not the norm so much anymore. There are more single parent households than ever. So here are the questions I struggle with....why do you think that single parents, which are the growing majority, are treated different in social circles? Do you agree that is the case? If so, what can be done to break down the walls that divide us, for the sake of the kids involved? I am continuing to explore this topic and welcome feedback from both single parents and married parents.