The Older I Get the Faster Time Passes

The Older I Get the Faster Time Passes

www.her30s.com

By: Wendy Castellanos-Wolf

Is it me, or is time speeding up? As a kid the days felt endless. In my twenties, the days were full but time never surprised me the way it does now as a woman in her thirties. I can hardly look at a calendar without cringing and experiencing an internal clamor that demands to know “Where the F did the time go?!” Popular Science Magazine explains that the rotation of the Earth around the Sun is slowing down and that 140 million years from now humans could be living out 25 hour days. So again, if science has already proven that the days are ever so slightly getting longer, why do I instead feel like the days are getting shorter? I’ve tried to explain this phenomenon to myself and what I have come up with, is that I have more to do.

I’m not talking about just the mundane like washing dishes and the need to modify my personal grooming routine as I discover tiny wrinkles and the emergence of ever more gray hairs… (Ok, I really want to expand on the latter comment but I will save that for another ranting blog post about aging.) What I mean is that my twenties were a fun period of discovery and experimentation. I always had a lot to do, but it was (and allow me to get a bit new agey here), an unconscious time. As if feeling my way through the darkness, I did everything from instinct or by chance. And when one has no specific goals or troubles, time cruises by unannounced and undisturbed.

In my thirties I have decided and defined what I want to spend my time learning, doing and focusing on. It is this awareness that makes time seep away like water cupped in my bare hands. All of the sudden, when I began to pursue very specific personal and professional goals, time sped up.

Time

I don’t want to get into detail, but my life drastically changed 3 years ago right before I turned 30. With more responsibility than I had ever had in my life prior to that, feeling like the freedom I had enjoyed up until then taken from me, and a sudden awareness of what I wanted to do in my life, I embarked on a frantic and stressful journey that has lasted 3 years. I am exhausted! My circumstances have not changed drastically but my perspective and how I react to certain situations has. In these past 3 years I have learned to be an adult, even if most of the time I still feel or act like a kid in private.

In my Dance career I have always been great at quick changes. I act quickly and precisely and I do not get nervous. I have been able to do this because I prepare ahead and I do one thing at a time. In 2014, I have consciously decided to embark on a new journey. One where life reflects one of my backstage quick changes, where no matter how stressed or how fast the clock is ticking,  I am the master of my own time, seconds are plenty and with a confident calm, I can accomplish everything I want to do. 

Related Posts

The Midlife On-Ramp

It’s funny how age sneaks up on you. This is not new news, of course—I remember that my parents were always talking about it; they were unusually open in discussing life’s essential confoundery, the way one is constantly craning one’s neck, trying (and failing) to get the big view. But nonetheless, there’s no way to personally prepare for aging's eventual descent.   Read more >

Stigma Spelled 'S-U-I-C-I-D-E'

I checked the mail today.  Inside was a large yellow envelope addressed to me from the Regional Supervising Coroner’s office.This envelope, I hoped, would contain some answers about my husband’s death that had been unclear.  When the police told me they had found my husband they took a guess as to what had happened.  A day later they retracted.  At any rate, it was clear there was uncertainty.   Read more >

Stress & Why I Can't Deal, or Maybe I Can Learn

I began my stressing career early in life. My first clear memory of stress involved Little League softball. I played right field back when nobody ever, ever hit to right field. I thought it was my responsibility to pray over every pitch, that if I forgot to say a prayer for that pitch and we lost the game, that it would be all my fault. Perhaps this was stress, perhaps delusions of grandeur -- I'm sure we could all have a lot of fun with armchair psychology with this story, but my point is that when it comes to stress, I'm a black belt. (Don't worry, I've learned to stop wasting my prayers on minutiae.)   Read more >

Recent Posts by Her 30s

Comments

In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.