Good Morning. I Covered Your House in Crap. Here, Put This Jacket On!

Stardate: 12-02-14 Time: 0345 hours“Hey there sleeping beauty. Here’s a big sloppy doggie kiss for you on your toes. By the way, I have explosive lab dog diarrhea. I felt obligated to alert you.”“Damn it, Raven! Are you kidding me?”“Yeah I know. My bad. Sorry about the smell, but in my defense, those snacks you brought me were definitely not high quality. I didn’t get a look at the package, but based upon what I’ve produced in the last hour, the first ingredient is monkey butt.”“Oh God, Raven! I can’t breathe!”...more

Poor People are the New Running Ambassadors

I'm poor. Seriously. If you're a fancy running person with a job as a Product Tester/Ambassador and a checking account with more than 11 dollars in it, then you probably think poor runners are easily identifiable, and that we all look the same in our REI seasonal garage sale attire. I'm here to tell you we are not and we do not....more

Waterproofing Your Phone for White Slavery Prevention aka Breast Milk Bagging on the Run

I blogged a while back, in my search for waterproof gear for rainy runs, about how I used the Red Pepper NUUD Screenless Technology Waterproof Case to keep my iPhone dry. Now, I know this isn’t the most interesting subject, but rain, snow or armpit-bubbling humidity can be a deterrent to going out, especially if you’re carrying an expensive electrical device, like a smart phone for monitoring your activity. Or if you carry a phone just for safety reasons like avoiding white slavery....more

Steph's House of Hoka Cutting: Come on Down, Clifton! (A Hoka Clifton Running Shoe Review)

Remember when I wrote this post? And I went on and on about how much I LOVE LOVE Hoka trail shoes and how I will never run in anything else? All that is still true but I am about to get a lot more specific. ...more

My Dr. Jekyl Transformation and Hormonal Endurance Boost in the Formative Child-Bearing Years

Ultra running is very much like childbirth. Right afterwards you think "I'm never doing this crap AGAIN!" And then a day or two passes by, the surprisingly tolerable soreness has subsided and you're looking at the trail club web pages and UltraSignup for the next 50K since you can like, do those now. But I'm thinking more women runners do this than their male counterparts. This thought stems from a related theory of mine developed from years of dealing with enduring menstrual cramps that have worsened in intensity since delivery of my second child. I hate this time of the month. ...more

Run Appy Review: Starting over with Strava

Something happened to me over the last few weeks that I found so upsetting, so utterly disturbing, so completely horrific, that I hardly know what to do. I became a Strava fan. ...more

Ultra Runner Rescued from Human Hamster Wheel in Ocean: Don't laugh. He's one of us.

A few gallons of water, GPS, satellite phone, box of protein bars, and a plastic bubble....more

Paleo Fail-eo: Did Cave Women Run Ultras Anyway???

I am so mad right now just mentioning this subject matter that if I weren't afraid my five year old could read this, I'd probably swear. Not any of those nice, neat swear words either. I'd let fly some of the really awful sounding ones like they used in "Breaking Bad"....more
But really, we are talking calories in and calories out. Burn them and enjoy them just the ...more

Have Stun Gun, Will Run: a Not-Actually Tested Review of VIPERTEK VTS-979 - 19,000,000 V Stun Gun

I’ve decided I want to fight bad guys for a living. Not like some of my friends and my husband who have to use credentials and a real gun and a giant ego to fight them though. I want to fight scum of the earth in a very caped crusader kind of way. I’m of the opinion that to truly be respected as someone who takes fighting off sick bastards seriously, a really cool mask and themed costume is quite necessary. That’s exactly what’s wrong with law enforcement today by the way. Too much badge and too little crazy cool mask. ...more

Running an Ultra with Influenza – in 7 Easy Steps

Step 1: Get the flu.The best way is to overtrain until there is absolutely nothing left of your immune system. I will explain the secrets to "The art of overtraining" in a future post. After you have reduced your immune system to dust, hang out at playgrounds with toddlers that have recently been violently ill with Enterovirus D68. If you can, let them drink out of your colorful toy-like water bottle. Share fluids as much as possible with a kindergartener as well....more