When an Asshat tells you he’s an Asshat, Believe Him

Here’s the funny thing about people. They tell you who they are. And they often tell you right away ....more

Do You Press-Gang Your Kids?

I think we all realize the only reason we have children is so they’ll vacuum our vacuum with a dust buster after making us a five course meal and doing all the dishes. New York Times contributor, Alisa Gibson Schindler certainly understands this. She’s an expert at catching her unsuspecting children unawares and turning them into slave labor ....more

Not All Feminists Want to Wear Mens’ Penises on a Chain Around Their Neck

One of my favorite bloggers, Michelle Combs, posits this question: what is a feminist? My dear Henry might say “a terrifying wife dominatrix who chases me around the house brandishing handcuffs and benwa balls,” but I prefer to align myself with Ms. Combs who writes: Feminism isn’t about dehumanizing men ....more

How Old Is Too Old To Rock It?

I think it’s safe to say that Erica is sexy enough, at 52, to wear this outfit. And that she doesn’t feel the least bit threatened by women in their 20s. Shannon, meaning me, is off to do squats and eat kale ....more

5 Asshat Moves I Ignored Thanks to Lust

Back before Henry, when the dinosaurs roamed the land and I loved Asshats, and I were driving to Tijuana down the 405 freeway at 2 p.m., heading south to donate LAFD firefighting equipment to the Mexican bomberos when we were suddenly overtaken by lusty impulses. I can’t remember why. Mayhaps he was wearing this… I really can’t remember ....more

Zen and the Art of Sailing During A Small Craft Advisory Warning

I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to barf. I didn’t want to get salty ....more

When I Tried to Kill my Ex With a No. 2 Pencil

He walked in the door of our house at 1 a.m. as if it were only 6 p.m. and he didn’t reek of Other Women. I sat on the couch pretending to watch the Late, Late, Late Show, as if I hadn’t been waiting up for him, wondering how many women he’d managed to nail in the seven hour interim between work and home. He didn’t greet me, just stopped at his desk and began riffling through afternoon mail ....more

What Makes You Feel Desirable?

With fellow hootchie mama, code name Tango 5/6 Yesterday I had lunch with my mom at my favorite local haunt, John O’ Groats. Best Huevos Rancheros anywhere! I was a bit dolled up, because that’s how I roll at 49 ....more

Is my Asshat Recovery Video Inspiring or an Abomination?

Hello Readers — okay, this is my introductory Asshat Recovery video. I was so nervous speaking to my computer alone in my room that I barfed a little in my mouth and sweated through my Spanx. But ....more