Facial Exercises to Get Rid of "Resting Bitch Face"

Every so often when I'm at the computer, I look up, unwittingly catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror and am always surprised to see a furrowed brow and grumpy expression. I may be deep in thought, engaged in whatever it is I'm doing, but I look really pissed off. My 6-year-old granddaughter asked me recently what was wrong, to which I answered, "Nothing." I was sitting there reading peacefully, thank you very much. ...more
Michelle Candice, there's a cure!more

Middle Age Snuck Up On Me and I Don't Like It

I turn 50 in a few months, and I wish you'd just shut up about it. I know I brought it up, but shut up, anyway. Middle age is not looking the way I thought it would, so I'd rather look away. I kind of figured by 50, I'd be dignified and pretty all-knowing, and possibly even wearing a monocle, like the Planter's Peanut guy. I mean, who's more sophisticated than that? ...more

I Miss Grocery Shopping with My Mom

My grocery cart isn't nearly full enough today, but my heart is another story. I've put off grocery shopping for about a week and a half now. A little over a year ago, I had no choice. When my mother was low on food, I had to replenish. There is no longer any urgency. My family can endure a few days of doing without. That's why God invented pizza. ...more
This was hard to read...more

Technology and Me, We Don't Get Along

I'm currently sitting on the sofa inside a hotel room of a small, cozy, not very state-of-the-art hotel in Pittsburgh. I've been here for eleven days, teaching in a graduate school program, and have two more days to go. I've just received a note slipped under my door stating that tomorrow the locks on all the hotel room doors will be switched over from old-fashioned keys to some newfangled contraption that will require a magnetic key card/thingie. Immediately, I call the hotel desk and ask if my room can be made exempt from this makeover until I check out....more

My Husband and I Have Never Been Able to Lose Weight Together

My husband is modeling man tights. "Do they look good?" he asks, sauntering out of the fitting room, a mere shadow of his 357-pound self. "They do." ...more
This was cute. I wish more people wrote about couples who lost/gained weight at different times. ...more

Don't Call Me High-Maintenance!

Calling a woman who knows what she wants and will not settle for less is the new way to demean us. It's the new way to say settle down. Don't be so uppity. You get what you get and you don't get upset. You shouldn't need real conversation or help around the house or for me to stop spending all my money on golf clubs when we need a new roof. Don't be so high maintenance....more

I Can't Believe I Missed Woodstock

In the summer of 1969, Provincetown’s Town House restaurant employed a “town crier” to walk the streets in a Pilgrim-ish outfit, ringing a big bell and loudly extolling the virtues of the eatery’s menu. His delivery was colorful, but his message was bullshit. ...more
Well, if it is any consolation, I would have loved living in Provincetown for a summer, even if ...more

What Cancer Has Taught Me About Gratitude

Every night before bed, I try to remember what’s going right for me. I tick down a mental list of the things I’m thankful for. It’s the first time in my life I’ve ever said something resembling a nightly prayer or followed advice from O Magazine. If I have to deal with breast cancer, at least it’s made me develop one good, healthy habit—this little nightly gratitude exercise. My Top 5 reasons to be cheerful go something like this: ...more

I Loved Midlife... At First

When I turned 50, I was full of piss and vinegar. I felt on top of the world. I was like a boss. I ran half marathons. I was at my peak. I was going to show the world what 50 looked and felt like, and it was awesome! Image: clevercupcakes Every time I did my makeup in the mirror, I thought I looked stunning. Yes, I really did. No false modesty here. For someone who grew up with an eating disorder and terrible self-esteem, I finally loved myself. 50 was the best thing EVER! ...more
Due to health issues and heredity, I was THROWN into menopause in my early 40's.  Mid 50's and I ...more

Modeling Bridal Gowns Can Make You Jaded About Weddings

I love awards shows, but I almost never watch them. I tune in for the spectacle and pageantry of the red carpet, and switch the station when the ceremony is about to begin. I really only care about the fashion. “Who are you wearing?” is a Hollywood cliché, but searching for the perfect dress is something most women have done, with one event trumping all others. I think we’re all actresses on the red carpet when it comes time to choose a bridal gown. ...more