Do I Need Fireworks In Order To Have Fireworks?

If there’s ever been a sentence that gets on my nerves, it’s: “Today, I’m marrying my best friend.” Oh, shut up. But really, my ex-husband and I were as good of friends as you could ever imagine. For example, we had really similar weird senses of humor. You know how people start to look alike when they’ve been married awhile? Well, we’d react alike—usually in the most cynical, horrific way possible. ...more

My Daughter Wants Everything I Never Wanted and I'm OK With That

My 11-year-old daughter’s new favorite TV show is “Cake Boss,” a reality show about a bakery in Hoboken, New Jersey, that makes the most extraordinary custom cakes for all occasions — especially wedding cakes, which are among their staples. Day after day, my daughter devours episode after episode, spellbound as the bakers decorate these wedding cakes: layers of vanilla and chocolate, roses and tulips, and two figures on top who uncannily resemble the real couple. Nevertheless, I’m not prepared (although I should be) for her question: “What kind of wedding cake did you and Daddy have?” ...more
I think this is awesome!  My mom and I are the opposite, and I think that's how it is a lot of ...more

I'm Not Fighting Cancer, I'm Surrendering

I’m not fighting cancer. Even though there’s a grade 3 tumor in my breast, vaguely star-shaped and roughly the size of a quarter. Even though some of my lymph nodes are potentially conspiring against me. Even though I’m about to have a mastectomy, and eventually chemo. I’m not fighting — I’m surrendering. To the complete unknown. To the random. To my body. To people. To science. To holy shit there is nothing I can do. To God. ...more
I'm pulling for you against those wily little lymph node motherfuckers.more

Mothers Are So Embarrassing

It was my Meat Loaf moment. A few weeks ago, I took my two daughters to see a Broadway show starring Sutton Foster (who may not be a household name across the country, but for my two theater-obsessed kids is pretty much the coolest thing ever), a two-time Tony-winning singer/actress/dancer, and star of the late, lamented ABC Family series "Bunheads." After the show ended, we lined up with all the other theater geeks by the stage door to get her autograph. ...more
Very fun story - I think it's a rite of passage for mom's to embarrass their kids. I try to make ...more

How I Became Politically and Socially Aware

I had to do it. First, I asked a rhetorical question of the two women with the two boys, hawking some kind of snack food in front of Trader Joe’s: “Are you really affiliated with the Boy Scouts?” “Yes,” one said hesitantly. Later, she walked by my car as I put in groceries. “You know the Boy Scouts are homophobic,” I said. “Our troop isn’t,” she said. “The organization is; the Boy Scout guidelines are,” I said. “Well, I want to give my son the experience of scouting,” she answered. ...more
You know, Lisa Belkin just today wrote a long, excellent article about whether parents should be ...more

Why I Agreed to Marry My Gay Friends

When my longtime friend Robert and his soon-to-be-spouse Patrick asked me if I’d consider officiating at their upcoming nuptials, my immediate reaction was — wow! And why? ...more
I LOVE officiating weddings! I've done everything from a fancy one where I wore a cassock to an ...more

Being A Middle-Aged Woman is Expensive

Plenty of personal finance matrices suggest that with age comes a somewhat lower overhead. You know the drill: The kids move away, the mortgage gets paid off, and as you comfortably settle into whatever your version of semi-retirement is, job-related expenses become obsolete as does the intense need to save. ...more
I love the humor in this.  I have found some of this the case in my advanced age, but unless you ...more

I Hate Traveling

Ask people what they’d do if they came into a bunch of money, and most will mention travel: “Oh, I’d love to see Paris!” Or the Galapagos Islands. Or Thailand. Some just want to hang out on a faraway beach for a week, reading a book and drinking something tropical. I have a friend who read Eat, Pray, Love, which is about a woman’s travels to three different countries over the course of a year. As soon as my friend finished the book, she got online and made reservations to go to the same countries....more

Midlife: Between Youth and Old Age

You think about things. You think about how your grandmother was younger than you when you were born. How your mother was younger than you when you had your first baby. How much of your life is behind you, at 52. Most of the big events — the wedding, the births of your children, their college graduations — those things are done. ...more
I catch myself starting to say "when I was your age" all the time.  I know it sounds hokey (yes, ...more

I Went On a Blind Date with My Husband and It Was HOT

Never let it be said that you can’t teach old dogs new tricks. At 54 and 49 respectively, Henry and I have been married 14 years, together for 17. I know the map of his body as well as my own. His flat feet kept him out of the service. The large black mole on his right shoulder blade must be removed whether it’s cancerous or not. His luxuriously furred, muscular chest is his sexiest feature. His nose is shy, leaning to the right as if it would prefer to go unnoticed. ...more
Ha!  Love this idea, wonderfully written too!more