How You Can Tell if You Are Close to Your Teenage Daughter

It was the $64,000 question, or in our case, the $127.00 question.  After an hour of primping, of tedious makeup application and careful color consideration, it was time to pay for all the fun. I expected the tally. After all, my daughter and I completely bought into the subtle sales pitch: “If you only buy one thing today, it must be the concealer; it’s the best on the market. Well, then there’s the all-in-one foundation. People come back time and again just for the foundation....more

My Husband Needs Google Maps for the Grocery Store

One of our favorite books when the kids were young was If You Give A Mouse A Cookie. The if/then scenario played to their rebellious side and the circuitous story reminded us parents of how life often eventually comes full circle, how one day it may be our children who are tucking us into bed with a good bedtime story. And though it is a tale that has been long tucked away in an old bookcase somewhere in our musty basement, the message of continuity was never clearer than when I sent my husband to the grocery store last week....more

From MaMa to Mom to (Heaven Forbid) Mother

There’s a space for nearly everything it seems. Those darn baby books think of milestones new mothers would never consider recording. From “Hangs up clothes” to “Makes bed”, there’s a spot for that. From, “Combs hair” to “Buttons”, there’s a spot for that too. It doesn’t mean I actually filled all of them in, but I’m cutting myself some slack because some of them to this day aren’t ready to be filled in. My 19-year-old son has yet to “Makes bed” or “Combs hair” so it’s fitting that I’ve left them blank....more

I'd Much Rather Be a Pretty Woman Than a Nice One

I want to be The Comeback Kid, or at the very least, Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Not a "comeback kid" in the sense that I make some sensational recovery after a fall from grace, but as someone who always has the perfect rejoinder to any jab sent my way. At my worst, I simply look like a dummy who has lost her ventriloquist, mouth agape, wordless, waiting for someone to feed me a line. ...more
From the title I didn't know where this post was going, but I got a great chuckle as soon as I ...more

Show Me a Family Bed and I'll Show You a Tired Family

You don’t realize how poorly you sleep until you are given the chance to sleep alone. In theory, a king-sized bed should be large enough to accommodate a 6-foot-4 man, a 5-foot-5 woman, and a 12-pound dog. In reality, it’s not. Particularly when the man has legs that resemble stilts, the woman doesn’t like skin-to-skin contact while sleeping, and the dog likes to snuggle. ...more

I Want a Do Over on Winter Break

I loved when they were pliable and open-minded. When the promise of a chance to feed the goats was enough to send my kids flying to the open car door. We had fun back then. Armed with my activity “bible”, Favorite Places to Go with Kids in St. Louis, I felt like Sacagawea guiding Lewis and Clark only my minions were Jimbo and Mabel and they had pigtails and pacifiers instead of pigskin and pelts. And, indeed, we traversed the same hallowed ground on which those famous explorers made their mark so it was doubly exciting....more

Stop, Drop, and Go. The Beauty of a Gift Bag.

There could be great debate about the best thing invented this last half century. A case could be made for the DVR, the cell phone, the 3D printer. All good choices, and there are many, many more that could vie for top honors. My vote? The humble gift bag. Without research to back my claims, I assert that the gift bag is the single greatest thing to hit the market since, well, wrapping paper. I would have a hard time coming up with good debate points on the merits of wrapping paper versus other common household items though....more

I Hope A Board Game Is Under Every Christmas Tree (As Long As It Isn't Cards Against Humanity)

In our household, instead of two Turtle Doves and Three French Hens, we had Book Night and Game Night on the second and third nights of Hanukkah. This was when my kids were younger and I could still ply them with underwear and pajamas without hearing too many groans, and the promise of crispy, oil-soaked latkes was enough to lure them away from their recently acquired video games. ...more
If you like Apples to Apples, but Cards Against Humanity was too much, I suggest "Metagame"- ...more

You Can Have Your Mistletoe; I Prefer A Corn Cob Pipe

I pull them out one by one, friends long-forgotten in cheap Tupperware containers. A head rolls off one, a twig arm bends in a strange direction on another. If I could, I would display them year round and be dubbed The Crazy Snowman Lady which has a much better ring to it than The Crazy Cat Lady. But instead, I pack them away on January 2nd with a quick drape of bubble wrap and a few crumples of newspaper. They lay nestled together, carrot nose to carrot nose, and I imagine their conversations sound something like this:...more
This is great!  I seriously doubt the haphazardness to your holiday decorating--everything you ...more

Pardon My French, But J'ai Peur

It is Tuesday night. Dinner is over, the kitchen is cleaned up, lunches are made. At this point in the evening, on most Tuesday nights, I read my blog to my semi-interested husband and very uninterested daughter. I like to hear the words as I speak them aloud because the oral rendition shines a light on improper grammar or poor word choices. I then tweak what I have written and wait for inspiration to hit me on Wednesday when I tweak some more before posting on Thursday. That’s my routine, but it’s Tuesday night and I have no blog. I guess I’m in the fog about what to blog. (See?...more