My New Boyfriend

I have a new boyfriend.  He’s a little young, 6 years…but ‘technically’ that’s 42 in people years.He was recommended from a friend.  Which is the best kind.  I had met him through her — we clicked instantly....more

The Rise and the Fall

Christmas is coming.  You know this.  I know this.  Except the wrinkle:  divorce pending.  Of course it is -- it stays "pending". This year?  I split time with my kids.This year?  I have less to do with gifts.This year?  My plan is different.This year?  I have ups and downs.This year?  I have to let some stuff go.This year?  Please end. There are many rises and falls in my life.   Could be every day.  Could be every week.  Could be a slower rolling.UpandDown...more

Chicken

I think I might have figured out this divorce business.  It’s basically a game of Chicken.Two people.  Barreling right at each other.  At a top speed.  Staring straight ahead.Hoping? The other one yanks the wheel and caves.A high dollar, physically draining, long game of chicken.Now, I’m not so good at chicken.  I’m not a gambler.  I’m a rule follower.  I’m the one that yanks the wheel in chicken.  Historically.But this one?  This Super Sonic Giant Bad Ass Game of Chicken?...more

Thank You

Is a "Thank You" that hard?I mean, is it?Can't people just say "Thank You"?  Why  Not?Thank you is niceThank you is politeThank you is appreciatedThank you builds characterThank you is a small phraseThank you makes people smileThank you is lovelyThank you means you give a crapThank you worksThank you is winningThank you is important. Try it....."T.H.A.N.K     Y.O.U"  Say "Thanks" if "Thank You" is WAY too long.Odds are?  You owe someone a "Thank  You".  ...more

Boy Mom

Yep, I’m a boy mom.  Plain and simple.  I was meant to be a boy mom.I remember when I was pregnant — I surely would have a girl?  Nope….two ginger wild boys is what I got.And?  It’s what was supposed to be.  Meant to be, really.FootballDirtLoudnessLaughterJokesSillinessCarsTrucksEnginesGunsMessesMiningFunkGasSmellyBoys.I can discuss engines with the best of them.I can spot the blitz.  Cheer an amazing fade thrown perfectly into the end zone....more

Boy Mom

Yep, I’m a boy mom.  Plain and simple.  I was meant to be a boy mom.I remember when I was pregnant — I surely would have a girl?  Nope….two ginger wild boys is what I got.And?  It’s what was supposed to be.  Meant to be, really.FootballDirtLoudnessLaughterJokesSillinessCarsTrucksEnginesGunsMessesMiningFunkGasSmellyBoys.I can discuss engines with the best of them.I can spot the blitz.  Cheer an amazing fade thrown perfectly into the end zone....more

I Wish

Not much of a wisher.  Or a dreamer.Much more of a realist.  The “no-shitter” sort, you know?  Straight forward.Wishes?  Crap.But lately?  I ‘might’ have a glimmer of a wish.  A tiny sparkle of a wish.  A little sliver, really.My wish?...more

I cried on my wedding day. And not why you think.

In the middle of a divorce.  Nasty.  Ugly.  Foul.  Divorce.I've been reflecting I guess.  Trying to figure it out.  Trying to review these 16 years of marriage.   Carving out a new life.And I remembered:  I cried on my wedding day.I bawled.  Seriously.  BAWLED.  I don't think he even knows why.  Hell, I'm not even sure he remembers, now that I think about it.I cried.  Hard.  Not because I was happy.  Not because I was sad.  Not because I was nervous....more

When does it end?

I filed for divorced in February.  Long Story.Separated in March.  Longer Story.Worked out custody in mediation.  Stalemate on financials and such.  Longer Story Still.So?  Now?Court date is in March.  2015.MARCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 2015.Two adults can’t sit down and AGREE on things that should be easy to work out.There’s no ‘easy’.There’s no ‘fair’.There’s no ‘negotiating’.There’s no ‘equal’.It’s a damn divorce.  And a nasty one at that. You might think “Hey, he would want this DONE ASAP?”...more
HollyPettit HOLY SMACK!  3 years makes my guts hurt!  I sure hope you are in a great place now! ...more

The Guilt

I have Mom Guilt.  There, I said it.  Well, I wrote it.In the middle of this separation, I have even more Mom Guilt.  It's suffocating at times.  Daunting.  Painful.  Gives me a couple of tears, alone, in the bathroom.He does the fun stuff.  He doesn't force the homework.  He let's them do whatever.  That's not to be mean -- it's actually just, him.Me? I get to:...more