I'm not "this" mom....I'm "that" mom

Back to school.Back to routine.Back to seeing other moms.Back to reading everything from my mom friends on Facebook.I’m not the perfect mom.I’m not a super mom.I’m not able to be at the school all the time mom.I’m not a hyper-organized mom.I’m not a June Cleaver mom.I’m not a homework loving mom.I’m not a fundraiser loving mom.I’m not a good cook of a mom.I’m not a spotless housecleaning mom.I’m not “this” mom....more

I don't know how I did it....no clue

It’s almost been 2 years, since I lost my daddy.2 years.It feels like 2 days.  Most of the time.  Others?  A lifetime ago……I go back and read my posts.  My blog.  My tweets.How the crap did I do that?How?I’m serious.  How?Working at the hospitalStaying at the hospital overnightTalking to doctorsTrying to manage all the medicinesMaking him eatHelping my familyManaging the testsScared out of my damn mind.  Barely keeping my head above water.How?I got no clue....more

Middle School

My oldest is going to middle school.What the WHAT?Middle.  School.We did registration.  He has all his supplies.  He was VERY particular regarding his backpack.  He wants to be in the band.  He looked "slightly" pale at all the discussions at the school.  He stared at his schedule.  He looked for kids he knew at the registration.  Hands in his pockets.  Taking it all in.He's in middle school....more

My New Normal

I’m still here…I think this is the longest break I’ve had from blogging.Wasn’t intentional.  Nor lazy.  Nor anything.Just didn’t write.I didn’t forget — I jotted down a half a dozen things to write about…then?blankstaring at the blinking cursorblankNot sure why.  Tried to figure it out.  Then?I let it go……me?Yep, I let it go.  Not my normal……...more

6 years

6 years.  He has spent 6 years in elementary school.  He went in as a little boy.  Scared to go to "big school".  Shy.  Not sure about it all.  About all those rules.  And writing.  And learning.And now?He graduated 5th grade.HE GRADUATED 5TH GRADE!I didn't embarrass him by crying.  I 'might' have passed a tear, but kept it under wraps.This kid is generous, kind, witty.He's a scientist, thinker, dreamer.He complains about the things he has NO interest in.  Repeatedly....more

I'm a Mom

Happy Mother’s Day. To everyone that is a mom, helps mom, fills in for the mom…….all of you.I’m a mom.  I have two awesome wild redheaded boys.  They are a joy, a pain the the ass but the greatest thing I’ll ever do.  Ever try.I’m not the perfect mom.  Or the super mom.  Or the best mom.I’m just a mom....more

Have it All? Negative

I was thinking about the commentary:Women can have it all....marriage/kids/career.ALL.  (Not sure I understand the "all" statement)Not really....I mean, you can "have" it.  Yes.But can you manage it?Me?  I don't see me managing it all well.  All aspects.....even good most of the time.Now, I've dropped the "marriage" qualifier.  That's honestly not a huge change in the "have it all" discussion.  It's hard.  Period.  And I appreciate those of you that it isn't hard to do it all.  ...more

Really? Yes, Really

Well, I’m divorced.  We’ve covered that.  Praise Neptune.He came to get his “final list” of stuff from the house.Final…..yes final.  The damn fourth time of GETTING crap.So, we endure that side show of taking things “off the list”.It’s done.Let’s fast forward to over a week later.  During the trading of the kids…..I hear, “Do you have that Christmas ornament?  The one…..”…………………..…………………..………………….....more

Friends, Friends and more Friends

During this whole process of divorce-assery, I’ve realized I’m a lucky girl.I have:...more

An Open Letter to My Ex-Husband

Ex-Husband,(no salutation necessary)As of yesterday, we are officially divorced.  Finally.Thank you — for not only wasting 16 years of my life, but another full year in divorce.  We ended up on the settlement where we would have been 8 months ago.  Thanks for taking up more of my life.  Thanks for costing more money.Thank you — for making me realize what you were doing during all those times you were detached from us.  Me. The boys....more
adelewishnot YOU GO!!!!!!!  The struggle...the lies.....the utter bs.  And?  We are stronger ...more