Listen to Your Gut - A Reinvention Story

My gut is all I have. This doesn’t discount my family, friends or my faith, because my gut instinct is tied inextricably to all of the above. It’s the second voice that whispers a welcome or a warning in the interest of keeping family, friends and faith intact.Teaching my daughter to trust her own gut is critical. I won’t always be here to give her the answers she needs. It’s gut-wrenching because I want to give her the right answers, but I know if I do that, she’ll never learn to trust her gut, or make decisions that grow into convictions....more

What Black History Month Could Be

It’s Black History Month and my daughter, like a lot of kids, will learn about the basics – the very basics: Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth, Dred Scot – and of course, MLK. I’m grateful for this annual spotlight, but I can’t help but think how that approach narrows Black History to people who lived within slavery and civil rights demonstrations....more
Black history is American history and it should be taught in all of the schools. Because people ...more

Sunday Wasn't Just Another Sunday After Pentecost - NaBloPoMo

Get out and I’ll park. Just find a spot.It’s gray, cold, and clammy. Misting enough to make kinky hair get kinkier, but not enough to merit an umbrella. I’m happy for the favor, especially because we’re running late. My daughter and I tumble out of the car and hightail it to the megachurch’s entrance while my husband parks the car....more

Dear Prince Charming - NaBloPoMo

Remember when she found the tallest inflatable slide at the festival? She crawled to the top with a trail of fifty kids lined up behind her waiting their turn. You panicked while I beamed with pride at our daughter’s fearlessness....more

3 Reasons Why I Talk About Race

People, places, odors, phrases can hit me in a visceral way. Dying autumn leaves, for instance, take me right back to the time my mother was fighting cancer. Phrases like No offense, BUT… shoot a reflexive, defensive clench from my jaw to spine. Whatever comes after BUT is never good and always offensive....more
Thank you so much. It's hard to talk about and at times, harder to walk it. I'll keep worrying, ...more

You Can Go Home Again - NaBloPoMo

This is the house we used to live in This is the place I used to know This is the house we used to live in Where if I liked could always go-Smithereens  ...more
CarrieStuckmann Thank you. And you're so right. I hope she writes about it too. Amazing how so ...more

A Haiku that Really Happened - NaBloPoMo

The haiku you are about to read is true. No names have been changed to protect anyone. Just be advised that parenting tweens and teens is not for the faint of heart. It's playing a contact sport without helmet, pads or a ref to call foul or throw flags on questionable plays. Think you’re a cool mom?I am. I did. But maybe…She doesn’t think so. I know I’m weird, mom.Why do you think that? I ask.I like different things. Different’s good....more
CarrieStuckmann Like a HARD ouch.more

Freshman Year at 46 - #NaBloPoMo

Going from a small Lutheran grade school to a much, much larger Lutheran high school would have been intimidating had not my best friend since kindergarten been by my side.We scheduled most of our classes together, developed crushes on the same guys and giggled. All the time. At everything and everyone. Especially the guys who were the object of our crushes....more
I'm *write* behind you, sister! See what I did there? Uh huh, we are mighty the freshman.more

Those Racist Halloween Costumes: It's Not Political Correctness, Just Respect

I'm not a prognosticator, but I can predict it with a fair degree of certainty: sometime in the next few weeks, there will be people who post pictures of themselves dressed as Blacks/Hispanics/Native Americans/Asians in a stereotypical way for Halloween. Then everyone will momentarily descend into outrage, defense and offense until November when we'll all take the 30 Days of Thankful Challenge leading up to Thanksgiving....more
Thanks for helping change the conversation on we discuss these things by featuring this post. ...more

Time to Add Catcalling to 'The List'

I was walking the dog when I heard Heeeeyy girl…You’re looking goo-ooo-ood today! A car had slowed down next to me, just enough to keep pace as I walked. The driver’s eyes slowly laser-swept my body, beginning at my chest, ending at my thighs and slowly back up again. Then he drove off. At 13, I was still adjusting to my developing body. I was all breasts, a bubble butt and stick legs. My body was foreign, yet I was the same awkward, introverted girl who wanted nothing more than to be cool and feel like one of the 'pretty girls.' ...more
CarrieStuckmann Thanks, Carrie and it's ALL of our problem -- boys, girls, men and women alike. ...more