Battle of the Halloween Costumes: 2015

I'm not a prognosticator, but I can predict it with a fair degree of certainty: sometime in the next few weeks, there will be people who post pictures of themselves dressed as Blacks/Hispanics/Native Americans/Asians in a stereotypical way for Halloween. Then everyone will momentarily descend into outrage, defense and offense until November when we'll all take the 30 Days of Thankful Challenge leading up to Thanksgiving....more

Dear America: On Charleston, the Stars and Bars, and the N-Word

Dear America,I need you to calm down and stop being shocked and awed and aghast for one moment. Not desensitized, not numb, that’s impossible and frankly, you'd be an android or bot or something if you were....more
Undiagnosed but Okay Thanks! I think we use offense and defense because it's easier than ...more

Jumping In

Jump in, honey! I’m right here.My husband’s voice echoed above the splashes in the indoor public pool where our then 3 year-old daughter was taking swimming lessons. Pigtails on either side of her head created alien like bulges through her orange swim cap. She stood at the pool’s edge, stooped over...thinking, weighing the options...and not jumping.Can’t say I blame her. Ground is solid, secure; while water, no matter who’s standing in it waiting to catch you, isn’t....more

We'd Talk About the Little Things - #MothersDay

I carry around in my head a fantastical conversation where my mom somehow rips the time space continuum and moves heaven and earth and death itself to chat with me, if only for a little while.We don’t have much time, Baby Girl. What’s going on? Talk to mom. She grins.I’ve just been thinking about standing next to you in church during the responsive reading every Sunday.Okay, Babygirl, Mom’s listening…...more
So, so beautiful, Rochelle. I'm sorry you were missing your momma this weekend, as I'm sure you ...more

What Worries Me About the Boys of #SAE

I used to love “If you’re happy and you know it” until I heard SAE’s twisted, bigoted version. It’s a worrisome earworm, but one that will be shaken...eventually. More worrisome are the boys who led the song in the now infamous video. (yes I know the law says they are men, but 19 years-old? Really? Men?) They don’t worry me because of their cavalier attitude while singing about lynching or objectifying a whole race’s ugly history. I’m worried they will become victims of good intentions to identify, vilify and expose racism wherever it raises its ugly head. ...more
The SAE young men displayed what they felt as a group. The "person" is smart and most likely ...more

What's Behind My Tears Over Ferguson

No indictment against the man who caused the death of Michael Brown. No need to investigate further, it just happened.A crying lump in my throat threatened to push its way into tears. I swallowed it back and sat glued to the coverage.I'm still ferreting out from where the threatening tears were coming....more
ace1028 I'm just glad you read them. Thanks. xomore

Healing in Missouri

Something happened the other night in Missouri.Hours south of Ferguson and miles away from the blare of squawking talking heads, cameras’ glare, fortified police force and protestors, a quiet vigil was held.A small group of people in a rural Missouri town stopped, as they have every year since 2001, to reflect on what happened there August 19, 1901: the expulsion of the town’s black population and the lynching of three men that led up to it....more
nancy328 Thank you, Nancy. Healing -- of all kinds, both of sinew and bones and of hearts and ...more

Monsters Are Real

The more I think about it, the more I think we’re all on that plane with William Shatner flying through the Twilight Zone, seeing a monster on the wing that no one else does.It’s one of the creepiest Twilight Zone episodes, not because the special effects were extraordinary, but because the episode tapped into our most primal fear and our most basic need: to be heard -- or at the very least acknowledged -- and the fear we won’t....more
Parthenia Queen Agreed. I've thought for years that History needs to be inclusive of all the ...more

We're Learning to be Selfish

We're learning to be selfish, my tween-ager and I.I know you're asking why considering that  kids (and some adults too, if we’re being honest) have the propensity to believe they are the sun and the rest of us are mere planets revolving around them.Selfishness is just a built-in perk of being human....more
Pecked2DeathByChckns I LOVE gold stars! And be honest, it only popped up because I ...more

I Knew Him by His First Name: I Grew to Call Him Dad

Percy. I only called him “Dad” selectively, usually when I needed something. My friends marveled that I had the balls to call my dad by his first name. But it wasn’t an act of rebellion; my mom called him Percy and we just parroted what she said. He never seemed to mind. It’s taken years to piece together who Percy really was and how that same Percy intersected with Dad—a title I instinctively started using only after the picture of who he was as a man, as a father, became clearer as I grew older. ...more
carrien, thanks.more