The Visit from an Old Lover

He slid into my car, leaned over and kissed my neck. Nothing had changed in thirty years. He still thought I wanted him to kiss my neck. Never mind that I’d been married to someone else for twenty-five years, raised four children, and was a grandmother. I was 30 when he was kissing my neck in earnest. Now I was 60....more

Let's Run This Lap Together

The disproportionality of the motherhood experience just smacks me in the face sometimes.We all start pretty much equal, right? We're young women in our twenties, we get connected to someone, maybe get married, feel suddenly completely impelled to have children, impelled as if our entire lives have been directed to that single purpose. Never mind the advanced degrees, the years spent building a career and a reputation, it's having a baby that suddenly becomes the raison d'etre. Why is that?...more

Bury Me Floating

On a night when what's going on in the world seems like an episode of 24, I am sitting at the small round table in our second floor room at the 1950's era motel in the Florida Keys where we've stayed more than twenty times in the thirty years we've been married and where my husband came with his family for all the years he was growing up. When he was a kid, he broke his arm falling off the roof of one of the units. That's deep....more

In My Daughter's Kitchen

The toaster goes back in the cupboard under the counter when it's not being used. The spices are in a drawer, everything visible right away. No lost time searching for the right one. ...more
My son-in-law :-)more

Hard to Please: Life and Times in the Exit Row

Apologizing in advance for what one has cooked for dinner is so feeble. I hate it. Never apologize! Take no prisoners! Bring me echoes of every man I have known, on a platter, with parsley....more

Put Your Heart on Your Head on 2015

  The way I see it you need to have your heart on your head or on your sleeve or someplace where you can lay your hands on it fast. These days, it's not enough to have your head in the game. Your heart needs to be there, too.One by one and as a society, we need to have more 'people are hurting, it doesn't have to be this way, we need to do something' thinking and less fiscal analysis, cost-benefit equations, and philosophical posturing....more

Good White Person: Start Where You Are

For the past eight months, people in Milwaukee have been waiting for an official determination of whether a police officer would be charged with shooting and killing an unarmed man he found sleeping in a public park. From the way I phrase that, which was, intentionally, the most neutral way I could frame it, you can probably tell that I was hoping for charges, and maybe, if you are an experienced observer of police-community relations, you already know that the officer was white and the dead man was black....more
First off, I want to say that I do believe racism is still apart of society today which is crazy ...more

How Competition Makes Me a Better Writer

Some of my favorite bloggers right now are the ones competing with me in the weekly writing contests organized by Yeah Write. Yeah Write is a marvelously attractive site, very visual with great weekly challenge questions like 'how come no one warned me?' and and this week's 'what do we have to lose?' to which bloggers can respond with fiction, nonfiction, or a 42-word flasher. Each category has its own deadline during the week and each is voted on separately by readers who are strongly encouraged and guided to read all of the entries before selecting their three favorites....more

Blindsided: Learning to Live with a Disability

I wasn't prepared for this. No one told me how to take my personality, my intelligence, my accomplishments, my ambition, my ego and put them all behind a gauzy thick wall that mutes most voices and distorts the sounds of everyday life. The siren could be a whistle or a baby screaming or someone's worn out rear brakes, I won't know until the ambulance crosses the street in front of me....more