Dear Young Mom

 Dear young mom,You look at me and see a grandmother who had her chance. You figure what I could tell you about being mother would begin and end with a rotary phone. Nothing I know would apply now in this whole different world, more enlightened, informed, nutritious....more

A Note, A Phone, and Faded Memories of Adoption

We looked through old papers tonight, pages of them, some in English, most in Spanish, documents pulled out of a torn white envelope, each one signifying some step in the adoption of one of our three children from Nicaragua. In the papers were names we had forgotten, names of people and places. ...more

"In a Relationship"" It Was Never that Simple for Me

A few days ago a Facebook friend posted that she was "In a Relationship" with another person who is an actual, real life friend of mine and I wondered to myself, what event or decision precipitated that declaration?Is it a thing that one person asks the other if it's okay to change one's status on Facebook from single to "In a Relationship?" It has to be, why wouldn't it be? There are lots of things that are things now that weren't before. Just like there are things that were, like going steady and getting pinned, that are no more. My life needs a bookmark....more

A Surprise Visit from an Old Lover

He slid into my car, leaned over and kissed my neck. Nothing had changed in thirty years. He still thought I wanted him to kiss my neck. Never mind that I’d been married to someone else for twenty-five years, raised four children, and was a grandmother. I was 30 when he was kissing my neck in earnest. Now I was 60....more
SingleMomtism  Thank you!more

Where is Your Fine Hat?

I woke up in the night, found a pencil and wrote the words "I miss my mother's things" on a receipt stuck in a book on my bedside table....more

Wilted: The Power of a Mother's Criticism

My mother scolded me on the phone one night for leaving my eight-year old daughter alone while I went to the store and I didn't talk to her for months. I felt the scorch of her judgment in every part of my body. It made me sick, angry, indignant, sorrowful, shamed....more

Let's Run This Lap Together

The disproportionality of the motherhood experience just smacks me in the face sometimes.We all start pretty much equal, right? We're young women in our twenties, we get connected to someone, maybe get married, feel suddenly completely impelled to have children, impelled as if our entire lives have been directed to that single purpose. Never mind the advanced degrees, the years spent building a career and a reputation, it's having a baby that suddenly becomes the raison d'etre. Why is that?...more

Bury Me Floating

On a night when what's going on in the world seems like an episode of 24, I am sitting at the small round table in our second floor room at the 1950's era motel in the Florida Keys where we've stayed more than twenty times in the thirty years we've been married and where my husband came with his family for all the years he was growing up. When he was a kid, he broke his arm falling off the roof of one of the units. That's deep....more

In My Daughter's Kitchen

The toaster goes back in the cupboard under the counter when it's not being used. The spices are in a drawer, everything visible right away. No lost time searching for the right one. ...more
My son-in-law :-)more