How Gun Violence is Ruining My City

The parts of our city where all the shootings go on has become another planet. We orbit reluctantly, wishing that something sunnier was our gravitational force. Not violence and death and children dying on playgrounds because two young men made each other angry....more

A New Line in the Sand

If you love someone and that someone often disappoints you, maybe hurts you, lets you down, wrecks your stuff, or gives you a black eye you can't explain to your boss, you are often compelled to draw a new line in the sand.This goes for parents who go cold on you, adult children who are addicted or mentally ill, friends whose extreme needs soak up all your energy, and lovers and husbands who compartmentalize their gentle and gentlemanly behavior in small cubes, an occasional sweetness on the tongue, so potent that you will forget what happened before and what will happen next....more

Always Eat Breakfast and Other Lessons I Taught My Daughter

The light was on in the kitchen and then the small light in the dining room. I saw my daughter setting out a placemat, a bowl and a spoon, a box of corn flakes. Of course, a box of corn flakes. She always ate corn flakes growing up."You have to get up, Mom. We have to leave for the airport in a half hour."It was 4:00 a.m. The rest of the houses on her street and most of San Diego was dark....more

It's Not New, It's Just New to You

Something about Michael Brown's shooting in Ferguson, Missouri, has struck a chord with white women bloggers because I sure have seen a lot of 'I can't believe how horrible racism is' posts as if this is the first time they've realized that racism can have fatal consequences....more
You're not wrong. I don't think that it is new to me, but it is definitely something I don't ...more

Hard Telling: Sorting Out International Adoption

It's interesting that, on the one hand, the U.S. government is tied in knots about children seeking refuge on our southern border and, on the other, is facilitating the adoption of thousands of children from dozens of countries by American families....more

The Limits of Our Experience: Understanding Depression and Suicide

A few days ago, some people had a suicide story. Now, everyone has one.If you never knew anyone who died by suicide before, not a single friend or relative, someone at work, down the block, you knew Robin Williams. Everybody knew Robin Williams....more

Never Too Late to Learn: Racism and Slavery in America

It occurs to me that the way to change people's attitudes is to tell them the truth.If people are never exposed to the truth, we can't blame them for not 'getting it' when we try to explain things like sexism and racism....more
For the longest time I have been saying we need to change the manner we teach Black history.  If ...more

Stop Whining and Start Writing!

Writer's block is a place where people who like sitting around in their Target bathrobes and fuzzy Hello Kitty slippers live while they talk about being bloggers or writers or whatever. It's an excuse for not delivering the goods, for being so beside oneself that nothing can be set down on paper.Writer's block makes me think of the old truism: 'can't means you don't want to.'...more

No Strings Attached

I felt sorry for her so I sent her $40. I didn't really have 40 extra dollars because I was only making $5.70 an hour then. Forty bucks represented nearly a whole day's work, several tanks of gas, a week's worth of groceries....more
This reminds me of a situation in my own life.  My granddaughter was diagnosed with a condition ...more

When Your Mother Dies

When your mother dies, you will take care of things. You'll call her friends on the phone and tell them one by one that their friend has died. You will listen as they nod and wait for them to tell you stories about her but they won't. They'll keep what they remember until later. Now is not the time, they think....more