Why I Hate The Elf On The Shelf

I'm not happy about this post. I love mocking ridiculous things, but I feel most comfortable poking fun at stuff I like. Things like my college football team, my kids' quirks, my brother's ability to get free stuff from anyone he meets, and how my mom identifies herself by name when she leaves me a message. "Oh, hi Amy. This is your mom. Susan." My favorite target is myself. But today I turn my disdain outward, to a society that complains about consumerism and too many commitments, but spends $30 dollars for the privilege of managing the "magic" of a cheaply made stuffed elf during the busiest month of the year....more
BertShowBert elfontheshelf TheBertShow this has been on social media...awesome idea for when the ...more

14 Surprisingly Awesome Things About Having Kids

I knew that having kids would be awesome, which is why I nagged my husband for three years to knock me up. What I didn't know was that there are all kinds of unexpected perks to rolling with a posse of shorties. Most of you reading this already have kids, but for those of you that are on the fence about breeding, or have a reluctant spouse, here is a list of things you can look forward to in the future....more
Funny and oh, so true.more

They Are the Best of Kids; They Are the Worst of Kids

There are some things that set me off. I lose my temper and I say mean things. Last night in the car with both kids, L screamed. She has a scream worthy of a slasher film, and it pierces my skull. She screams when she's happy, when she's mad, or just for fun, like in the car last night. I yelled at her to stop (yes, I see the correlation), and told her that screaming and yelling in the car can distract the driver, who could get in an accident, and we could all die. That's right. I told my my three-year-old that her screaming could actually kill us....more
Oh my goodness, thank you for writing this. I adore my children. I too think they are wonderful ...more

My Kids Meet Buddy The Elf

 I love the movie Elf, and was so excited to watch it with my five year old boy (G) and three year old girl (L). Here's how it went: L: Tell me when the funny part is gonna come. G: Elf! That says Elf!L: That was funny.L: Aww...a baby.L and G: SANTA!...more

Report Card

G came home from kindergarten with his first report card yesterday, and after I was done congratulating myself on raising a child who is (so far) meeting or exceeding expectations in both academic and social markers, I honed in on one particular area. Work Habits. There are many of The Doctor's traits that I hope the kids favor, but none more than this. I began to evaluate myself on the specific behaviors expected of a five year old, and I didn't like what I found....more

Having Kids Changed Me. A Little.

I always knew I wanted to be a wife and mother. That being said, I've never particuarly enjoyed spending time with children. I hated babysitting, holding newborns was terrifying, and I had no earthly idea what to do with toddlers. But, with the confidence of the ignorant, and the determination of a twenty something with a "life plan," I knew I would like my own kids. My husband has younger siblings, his family loved children, and we did a kick ass job raising our dog, so how hard could it be? Turns out, not that difficult....more

10 Things I've Learned From People Magazine

An "onlooker," "insider," and "gal pal" are all people with much to say. I'm not sure why famous people still hang out with these guys and tell them things. Those three bitches gossip like crazy....more

Hey Mom, I Get You

I have a friend I met when we both belonged to a local moms group. One of the first group activities my kids and I participated in was a play date at her house. My friend has a cat, and L, who was probably just over a year old, was found playing in the litter box. We determined that L hadn't eaten anything (litter or otherwise), and after washing her hands REALLY good, I released her to continue playing while I sipped my coffee, chatted with the other mothers, and kept a better eye on my kid. I was grossed out, but what was I gonna do? Enjoy my coffee and grown-up conversation, that's what....more
"Important jobs can be fun, too." THANK YOU for saying that!  It was just one of the many ...more