How to Avoid a Potentially Lethal Scarf Attack

I found a Cheeto (Cheeti? Cheeta? What is the singular form of Cheetos, anyhow?)...more

Also, I Don’t Enjoy Getting Puked On

Photo Credit:...more

The Dysfunctional Family Drinking Game

Thanksgiving is a joyful time to give thanks for all of our blessings and good fortune. It’s an annual celebration of family, loved ones, and “the harvest,” right? Sure ....more

WTF Is on My Face?

I’ve got something happening on my face. Something bad. Like red, bumpy, meth-face bad ....more

Advice to My Daughter on the Eve of Her First Junior High Dance

Memories of my own junior high dances are obscured in a haze of Drakar Noir, Aqua Net hairspray, and raging (and foul-smelling) tweenage hormones. Sadly, I don’t have any pictures from these dances to jog my memory either, but I do have my 7th grade school picture. (This picture was taken a few months before I started performing daily experiments on the effects of aerosol spray on the ozone layer.) I remember wearing that exact tank dress and matching earrings to one of my first...more

Depression and Anxiety Walk into a Bar …

Okay, I don’t actually have a joke. I’m just awkwardly introducing a different kind of post. See, depression and anxiety have walked back into my life, and they don’t seem to want to leave....more

The Good and Bad News about Having a Tweenager

You’ve been enjoying the sweet spot of parenting...more

You Put Your Meat In There

I like my meat hot and spicy before I stuff it in … a roll. I also like my recipes paired with...more

If You Give Foxy a Fish Head…

I promise I know how to behave properly in public. I can keep my voice down. I practice good manners ....more

Sometimes I’m Serious Too

September 6-12 is National Suicide Prevention Week. I lost my brother to suicide three years ago, and I live with chronic depression and anxiety myself. So this week is important to me to say the least ....more