12 Reasons Why I Didn’t Shower Today

My Dearest Husband, Welcome home! I hope you had a wonderful day at work. I know, I know, I look like hell (again) this evening ....more

Emergency Kits for Teachers

At my kids’ school, we are required to put together an emergency snack-pack for each of our children. The packs are...more

9 Rules of Swearing for My Children

To my sweet, innocent child, I have heard your furious whispers. I have seen your trembling hands move quickly to hide the scribbled notes. I know — you’re experimenting with some new language ....more

9 Vacation Tips from the Trenches

In case you’ve been wondering where I’ve been, I just got back from a slightly-over-a-week-long vacation with my family. (“Family Vacation” is the cruelest oxymoron of them all.) Spending eight days tromping around the Pacific Northwest and sharing a teeny tiny hotel room with a nine-year-old, a twelve-year-old, and my husband has given me time to grow and reflect upon how to better handle such an adventure, should it ever (or never) happen again. Here are several lessons...more

15 Bitter Truths About Mothering a Tween Girl

Being the mom of a tween girl is like being on a roller coaster ride. There are highs and lows. Parts that are exhilarating and parts where you grip the handrails and hope you survive ....more

What’s Your Excuse?

I admit it. Sometimes I make up excuses to get out of social events. Sometimes my social anxiety gets the best of me ....more

Raisins Are the Herpes of the Baked Goods World

There’s nothing quite so orgasmic as inserting a freshly-baked homemade cookie into my mouth. My tongue delicately caresses the firm exterior. My teeth gently penetrate the crispy butter-and-brown-sugar magic shell until the confection yields to the pressure and releases its warm, oozing delights inside of me ....more

Has a Fart Ever Embarrassed You?

My 95-year-old Grandma farts a lot, and I have anosmia...more

Men Are Whiners When It Comes to Oral Sex

Apparently my post on what women really think about blowjobs...more

There’s No Crying in Cards Against Humanity

Recently I was at a friend’s house playing my favorite game, Cards Against Humanity, with a group of friends and acquaintances. (I know, I know. I violated #1 from...more