A Very Cute Mutt

One of the most frequently asked questions we get about Layla is “what kind of dog is she?” At first I’d answer with what had been indicated on the adoption site: “Golden Retreiver mix” and then add in my speculation about the mix possibly being German Shepherd, based on her dark, wiry back fur and my secret desire to have a Retriever/Shepherd mix but then, without fail, the person would chime in with his or her own guesses: Terrier, Daschund, Lab, Hound,...more

And Suddenly We Were Dog People

This is part two in an unknown number of posts about the recent adoption of our new puppy. The first one’s here. For today’s Throwback Thursday post I’m going back, way back, to about five weeks ago, before we were dog people ....more

Princess Vagina Face

To those of you not following me on Facebook (what’s wrong with you?), I’d like to introduce you to the newest member of our family. Layla, or as she’s known in more sophisticated circles*, Princess Vagina Face, is the puppy we adopted almost a month ago but whom I have not yet mentioned here because I was worried that talking about her too much during the trial period that the rescue group gave us to make sure she was a good fit for our family would jinx things and then we’d have to give her back. Our reasons for not adopting a dog until now are many: Quai has historically broken out in hives around dogs he doesn’t know, our thirteen-year-old cat, Sophie, would have a heart attack if we brought another animal into her our house, and most importantly, because I’m not really a ‘dog person’ ....more

Saturday Stuff (Edition 1)

Okay I’m going to start a new column every Saturday to share some of my favorite things from the week. So if you’re bored and looking for some recommendations to get you through the weekend, here you go. You’re welcome ....more

Stompin’ in the Ocean

We were outside yesterday afternoon, the boys and dog running around the yard, me unsuccessfully attempting to read a book while everyone was distracted, and all of a sudden I hear Bear’s friend from next door exclaim, “Oh mannnnnnn, Roland! You ruined our ocean!” As we don’t currently have an ocean in our backyard, I figured I should go up the hill and investigate. This is what I found: No matter that’d I’d just put that shirt on him or that it’ll take days for those shoes to dry out, dude was having a shit ton of fun and in my mind that makes it totally worth the risk of him contracting some sort of parasite probably found only in the dirty still waters of the eastern USA and I let him keep stomping for a few minutes before carting him off to the decontamination chamber bathtub ....more

French Girl

I was a very strange child. This makes sense since I’m frequently told that I’m a very strange adult and it stands to reason that all the strangeness had to start somewhere. This photo may actually have captured the very moment the strange began, right there in our kitchen on Walnut Street while wearing a slip and a giant hair bow, and eating a purple popsicle ....more

A Picture’s Worth a Thousand Angry Words

This photo of Jim and I from my cousin’s wedding this weekend is about as close to a pictorial representation of our relationship as I can think of. It’s a representation as in “Eve does something Jim finds weird/stupid/mindbogglingly ridiculous and he points and mutters “What the hell is wrong with this chick?!” under his breath but he doesn’t really have a quiet voice so she hears him muttering and yells back “I’m petting a cow, Jim! It’s a motherfucking cow and they’re beautiful and gentle creatures that want you to pet them!” And he’s all “Yeah tell that to the man in China who got eaten by a cow ....more

There’s Something About Mary

This weekend my cousin Michael made the best decision of his life. Arguably, I really don’t know much about many of the other decisions he’s made in his life but they all seem to turn out pretty good, so it’s saying a lot that the BEST thing he’s ever done was marry a girl named Mary. We first met Mary at one of our holiday parties a few years ago and it was pretty much determined that day that she was the best thing since sliced bread ....more

Shit! Damn! Vagina!

This weekend we attended a wedding for one of my cousins and this website kept getting brought up. I didn’t realize how many of my aunts, uncles, cousins, and family friends follow me here and I basically spent the entire weekend feeling like I was standing naked in a crowd while everyone cooed about how adorable my cellulite was. Because that’s what aunts and uncles do — they tell you how great you are even when you’re not really great at all [they're like parents but nicer, as evidenced by the comment my father left on my blog a few weeks ago (see above)] ....more

The Godfather

This is a picture of my godfather and I when I was roughly three years old. I think it’s pretty obvious from the beer glasses in the photo what this story is going to be about- me getting drunk with my godfather when I was a preschooler. Just kidding, that would be terrible ....more