Why You Should or Shouldn't Date Out of Your Wheelhouse.

So…you’re messaging now and contemplating your first meet and greets. You’re apprehensive yet excited. You’ve got choices! Or do you? And is it quantity or quality, commonalities or differences that you should be going for?...more

Why Do I Nickname Boyz And Why Do They Like It?

Before I go any further along my own convoluted and surprising path o’ dating, I want to address this issue aka “my thing with names” so you won’t get all confused as we continue on together and everyone is called something else.The short answer to both title questions is: “I have no idea.” Sorry....more

Here's Why We Call It "The Power of the Post".

Sooo…I’m  here to report that both Nicolee and I have been affected by what she has coined: “the power of the post”. BAM!Fyi, Nicolee is my bestie in P.R. and she and my stalwart homestay student/ friend Nozomu proof my posts for clarity and continuity, education and entertainment. They are, together, my first reader. I would be lost without their wisdom and perception of my words and my intent....more

When Should You Send a Text vs. a "Sext"?

Here's a newsflash for those of us who first dated in the last century: decoding texts or emails in this digital dating age can be brutal.Make no mistake, because of online dating, you are intimately connected to your gadgets. You think it was bad way back in the day to wait at home for a call? Now you carry the damn instrument of your fate everywhere with you to maybe not get an email or text either. You have added opportunities to obsess over “did he/ didn’t he?” and “will he/ won’t he?” Sigh. An electronic maelstrom of self-doubt and dating angst. Good times....more
Adelewishnot Isn't it sooo weird to "know/ not know" someone?? It's just a whole new world o' ...more

Here's How the Rules Haven't Changed But I Have...

So you’ve gotten to your first date. Holy hallelujah girlfriend, give yourself a high five! But if you’re like me, immediately after that, you’ll be hyperventilating like a mo fo because what do you do NOW??  What do you say? How do you SAY it? Have “the rules” changed while you were out of the game? Gack!Honestly, my first few first dates were like when I brought Boo home from the hospital then his dad ran out to get something from the store. Suddenly Susan, it was just me and the baby on the couch and I was like: Tf do I do now? I wanted this and here we are and WHAT NOW?...more

What to Know If It's Your First Date This Century. Ish.

Soooo….you’ve been messaging with someone online and you kind of like him and he kind of likes you and you suddenly Susan agree to go out.  GACK! And if it’s your first “first date”/ meeting all the more reason to celebrate/ freak the fuck out!But you know what? Every journey begins with the first step so this journey begins with, most likely, the ubiquitous coffee meet and greet. Nothing wrong with that, girlies and I’ll tell you why: quick exit strategy.    ...more

After 7 Years Of Loneliness, I Still Refuse to Settle for "Mr. Wrong"

How many kinds of lonely do you think exist in the world? I’ve never actually asked myself before…it just popped up right now because I suddenly Susan wanted to address how lonely I was last year before I decided to go back online....more
writergal2014 You're so welcome!  I've settled before when I was married and I won't be doing it ...more

How To Know If You're Ready: Pre First Date Checklist.

Well, there’s different levels of readiness obviously and if you’ve gotten to this, the “pre-first date list” stage, I’m going to suppose that you’ve actually joined a dating site and have been actively messaging with  men. SCORE!But now you’re having to get off your computer and meet real live specimens which is the point and a GOOD THING…keep reminding yourself…breathe…breathe…...more
MissWendy Hahahaha....WOW. I think I've been on that same fucking date, Wendy. More than once! ...more

Warning: Possibility of False Intimacy Ahead.

The definition of intimacy is: close or warm friendship or understanding; personal relationship. Therefore, the definition of “false intimacy” may be taken as the illusion thereof…While I’ve been trying to write these blog posts chronologically re: dating, sometimes life loops back and what I experienced just last night gave me the perfect next topic that follows “messaging” and “loneliness”....more

Here's Why I've Gotta Get A Message To You...

Well, I guess I’d have to begin by saying the online world is divided into two groups: women who message men and women who don’t. Which one are you in?...more