I Want My Kids to Struggle

That sounds really mean, doesn’t it? Hear me out as I make that case that sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind.“Children Are Anti-Fragile”In a broader discussion of what he calls the vindictive attack culture on college campuses,...more

Perfect Imperfections

When I’m dissatisfied with someone, I can often trace the feeling to a dissatisfaction with myself. So, if I could truly love myself, would I more easily love those around me? I’m critical ....more

Too Much of a Good Thing

On Tenacity Two scenarios: A man feels a burning desire to paint. For 25 years, he studies art, makes art, works menial jobs to pay the bills, and calls himself an artist,a...more

That Time I Got Hurt and it Changed Me

My book, The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption, turns 3 this week. It came out originally in hardcover, followed by a paperback version last year, and, per my publisher, will soon be available as an audiobook. My little creation spread its wings and is still flying ....more

The Other Lori

Did you know that in the early 1960s, more than 20,000 Americans a year named their baby girl Lori? The name had a second wind in the early 1970s, a resurgence in which 13,000 more Loris came into existence for each of two consecutive years. I need to ask my Canadian contemporary Loribeth if the … Continue reading The Other Lori → The post The Other Lori appeared first on Lavender Luz ....more

A Meaningful Life

A friend of mine was feeling blue. She asked* a group of friends: I’m going to have a forty-something birthday soon and I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished anything significant in my life. Do you guys feel like this? ...more

Oh, the Humanity

I wept the other day. My tears weren’t tears of joy, nor tears of sadness, nor even of frustration. They were tears of connection ....more

Apropos of Something

The Fable of the Scorpion and the Frog A scorpion asks a frog to carry it across a river. The frog hesitates, afraid of being stung, but the scorpion argues that if it did so, they would both drown. Considering this, the frog agrees, but midway across the river the scorpion does indeed sting the … Continue reading Apropos of Something → The post Apropos of Something appeared first on Lavender Luz ....more

On the Crime of Being Adopted

News came recently of Adam Crasper, a married father of two who was detained last month and sits in a ell in Tacoma awaiting deportation to Korea , a land he hasn’t seen since he was adopted from there 40 years ago, in 1976. His crime is not his own, and his life in the … Continue reading On the Crime of Being Adopted → The post On the Crime of Being Adopted appeared first on Lavender Luz ....more