This Is What It Is Like to Be an Adult with ADHD

When I was in college, the war on drugs had just launched. I remember the PSA with an egg frying in a pan, and the message, "This is your brain on drugs." (The commercial did nothing to stop people from ingesting all forms of illegal substances, but I'm sure it was a big boon to the egg industry from the onslaught of people who found themselves suddenly craving an omelette.) ...more
I need to also add something else to my previous comment. The ONE thing that helped me more than ...more

(VIDEO) Friday Night Social Club

Do you ever hang out with these guys? ...more
That is ridiculously funny. You are a hoot!more

Terms of Service: These People Accidentally Sold Their Eternal Souls

Question: When was the last time you read more than "click here" on a terms of service contract before you actually accepted it? Never? Yeah, me either. Well, we are not alone. Fox News reports an April fool's joke by a British company called Gamestation giving it "a non transferable option to claim and for ever more, your immortal soul." ...more


Back in the olden days of my online dating ...more

Ever Put BOTH Feet in your Mouth?

A couple of months ago, I went to my therapist's office but before I proceeded to bore him to death with my "issues", I decided to first use the restroom. For this, a key was required and so, as soon as I walked into the waiting area, I grabbed what I THOUGHT was the key to the LADIES room. ...more

It's not as bad as asking an aquaintance (you have not seen in a year) if she is expecting ...more


Growing up, every funeral I attended the deceased appeared in a closed coffin, more than likely wrapped in a shroud. That's because in the Jewish religion they believe that even in life, if your wore Issac Mizrahi made FOR TARGET while all your friends ran around in Prada made FOR PRADA, when it comes to death, everyone is equal, meaning, poor, like me.  Yay!  Finally!  ...more

I'm Sorry What's the Plan Now?

The fact that I'm not writing to you from my local BURN unit right now is a miracle. You see I put the oven on 425 degrees (I'm telling you "degrees" just in case you thought it was pounds) and walked away. After ten minutes, I opened the broiler because that is where the pan was and proceeded to use my bare hands to try and remove it from said broiler so that I might put it in the oven. ...more


Yesterday, I was thinking  I've ruined my life  of maybe giving up acting. The problem is my work history is such that I don't have one tend to get discouraged that anyone out there would ever hire me. Nevertheless, I've put together a rough draft of my non-acting resume and would appreciate any feedback you might have as to how I might improve my chances for future employment.CHILDCARE-babysitter  September 8 (6pm) - September 8 (12am) ...more


I opened my mailbox today and found a letter addressed to Ms. Lucy Bern. ...more

Let's See...How Do I Put This

I was in NYC for a week with Phoebe. Being a child from L.A., she wanted to take a taxi everywhere. Being an adult who spent her childhood in NYC, I told her to suck it up and walk.  She quickly adapted to the situation and as a small bribe thank you, I decided to buy her a treat.  We were passing by this one upscale French style restaurant/cafe and the desserts in the window looked amazing so in we walked.  ...more


Over the last few years, I've developed these white spots on my arms and legs.  When I pointed these out to my dermatologist he was very reassuring and told me:   DOCTOR: Welcome to getting old.   To which I responded:   JESSICA: Thanks f*@er  doc. ...more

First, I think dermatologists are creepy because they work with people's skin but NEVER seem ...more