Chris Brown Can't Beat Me, or You.

Before I explain how sick to my stomach I felt when reading Tweet after Tweet by women saying, in various ways, we should all stop bitching about Chris Brown, they'd let him beat them all night long, let me make my fondness for rough sex abundantly clear. ...more

The Impact of Sexual Shame

Why is sex always surrounded by shame? Shame is not guilt. Guilt is an internal notion about a specific action. Shame is an external force exerted by others. Shame tells you not that you've done something bad, but that you are something bad. That idea takes away your autonomous control over your sexuality. And anybody who wants to take your autonomous control over your sexuality does not have your best interest at heart. ...more
First of all, I really like this video. HOWEVER, I do have two criticisms of it.   1) While I do ...more

Tie Me Up & Worship Me

Whenever I speak - or write - about women's sexuality in the context of empowerment, some very well-meaning person (usually a woman) will want to chat, with that knowing wink-wink nod-nod that assumes we will agree, about BDSM play. Invariably, they want me to agree with them that images of women tied up, bound, gagged and slapped are demeaning to women. They are waiting for me to validate their pent up indignation that anyone could do that to a woman....more

Against Michele Bachmann and Her Marriage Vow Pledge

Michele Bachmann and Rick Santorum became the first presidential candidates to sign "The Marriage Vow" written by a conservative Christian group. Even though the group has revised the vow to remove language that suggested black families were better off during slavery, the aim of the group is to protect monogamous Christian marriage as the only acceptable relationship, abolish the porn industry, deny the existence of homosexuality and generally regulate the personal lives of US Citizens....more
 @szeremy  it REALLY would be refreshing if the right would be able to take the blame they own ...more

"O" Relax, Orgasms Aren't That Big A Deal

Orgasms were always hard for her but after learning her body, she found she could get there, both alone and with lovers. Then, after a car accident and resulting brain injury, her Os all but disappeared. Strangely, she was relieved to see them go. As good as they felt for the short time they were happening, the pressure to "get there" had never seemed worth it to her. ...more
Very well written. Love the photo. I've always thought that the best sex was a playful, ...more

SlutWalk, Stripping and Public Speaking

I am a mother, a daughter, a lover, a sexuality advocate, a rape survivor and a writer. I am a writer because I am actually very shy. Though I routinely and happily show my speckled soul in all it's gory glory to the universe, I do it with the entire Internet between my readers and myself....more

Hormones Ate My Tomboy

My daughter is a couple months shy of 13. As her mother, I know that her body is a thin-walled vessel filled with raging hormones that make her insane. As a pre-teen girl, she honestly believes that being told she can’t wear jeans and Converse to a special occasion is roughly the same as being disemboweled by hyenas. Which is why she burst into tears at the suggestion, and then slammed her bedroom door....more

Haha you are so smart -- I can't wait to hear what she thinks of slut walk and you, in ...more

Mommy's Dating

Many people, myself included, looked at me askew when I said that I was driving nearly 1,000 miles to spend a week in California with a man I had met at a party and spent one magical (totally chaste) night with, a month before. The askew glances were mostly because I was bringing my 12 year-old daughter to California to spend a week with a man I had only known for one magical night, at a party.Seriously, you're bringing your daughter?...more

Porn On A Treadmill

 A while ago, I figured out that the best way to deal with the gym workouts that my broken neck require of me (as opposed to what I used to call "real" workouts, doing real things in the real world,) is to watch TV and movies on my iPod. Today I watched the first two hours of a truly interesting documentary about the history of porn as it relates to the history of civilization....more
It's not always about sex.  When I read the description of you running on the treadmill, I got ...more

New Relationship Plans From Sprint

“Well, I mean, how is he your boyfriend if you live in Seattle and he lives in California, anyway?”  I thought about whether or not to bother explaining this to him. He had not even been able to answer my simple question about canceling my Sprint contract, I was thinking the nuances of love might be a tad complicated for him.  “Are you getting married?...more