On Refusing to Allow Viola Davis' Talent To Be Limited By Racial Commentary

No matter our professional and personal and societal accomplishments as black women, we will be seen as less than. No matter the strides we make beyond being maids, we will be seen as less than. We will be qualified with “for a black woman.” That’s a beautiful painting for a black woman. She’s an incredible dancer for a black woman. Image: © Lisa O'Connor/ZUMAPRESS.com ...more
I'm guessing faces will have to be stuck rather repeatedly.more

What's In a (Starbucks) Name?

Amoeba. Armenia. Ambibia. Ar-na-by...what's your name, baby? It's rare for someone to say my name correctly on the first try. It happens, but it's rare. I've been called all of those above and a few others that make less sense. And by less sense I mean less sense of a seemingly normal person who thought Amoeba could be correct. ...more
I get misspellings all the time too. I'm most commonly named Brittany or Brenda. Or an extra ...more

The Other Side of the Weight Spectrum: Being Too Thin

This is not a pity party. I am relatively healthy, of sound mind (albeit occasionally debatable). I love myself, I do. I practice self worth in front of my girls, never complain about my [under]weight. I am happy and free and in love with my body in front of them. Oh, I can give the performance you've never imagined. But inside my head? Ugly. Skinny. Tittyless. Meatless. You're always cold because you don't have enough meat on your bones. No one wants you. Your husband is pretending. Your girls are destined to follow the skinny path. Make them some potatoes. ...more
Love, love this. Doesn't matter which you feel, too thin (you) or too fat (me), it's valid and ...more

I Did Nothing While She Hurled Abuses At Them

I imagined her saying I don't need your help. Truth be told, I didn't have anything to help her with other than maybe talking to her kids while she zoned out for a while. My daughter and I got on the bus, our first day of catching it together. Our first day of her getting off and transferring to another to go to school; me staying on to get on the subway, me staying on to watch her walk to a bus stop that leaves a lot to be desired as far as safety. Please pay attention to your surroundings. Please. ...more
Well said and described. the torn anxiety, the anger, the sorrow and the helplessness in the ...more

The Other One

I love my name. Now. Growing up, I hated it. I had to repeat it so many times. I had to spell it. I had to clarify b as in boy and n as in Nancy. I have allowed myself to be called Amoeba more times than I care to recall or count....more

That Time My Kid Was Kicked Out of Daycare

When you hear that someone's child was removed from daycare you immediately think the child was a menace, right? The child threw things or the parents didn't pay or something else unpleasant? Well, I'm here to tell you that that's not always the case. Based on income, our family qualified for a discounted child care rate. For the first year he was there, we paid one amount. When we were due to re-certify, it was determined that we no longer qualified for the discount. Unfortunately, we weren't given any notice about that decision, just a letter in his cubby dated for that day that stated his last day was that day. I'm sorry, but WHAT?...more
@Delusional MomI'd like to think that I'm adult enough to see the child apart from the parent. ...more

Post Halloween Harangue

It's day two of NaBloPoMo and I'm talking about Halloween. What, you were expecting me to be all thought provoking right off the bat? Let me work up to it, kay?...more

Is It The Way He Walks? Or the Color of His Skin?

You see him approach. You become uneasy. You wonder if he has a gun or a knife or will he simply hit you upside the head with his fist and snatch your purse or wallet. You take stock of how much cash you have, whether your credit card company reimburses for fraudulent charges. As he approaches, you clutch your bag closer to your person. You look around for anyone near enough to notice when he accosts you, maybe call the police for you. You realize you don’t expect anyone to actually physically help you, though (the people on hidden camera on TV never help)....more
@BlogHer Neither. Let facts, not bias guide this case.more

Watch Out for the Big Girl

Last Thursday I walked back into the doctor's office expecting to hear I was in a progressed stage of breast cancer. Regardless of my not having risk factors or any symptoms associated with cancer outside of the lump, I'd already not only given myself cancer, but it was in an advanced state. Of course it was. Who am I without worry? Who am I without giving Chicken Little a run for his money on sky falling proclamations? Oh, that week....more

I Entice Nurses with My Bosoms

I walk into the small changing room and sit down facing the mirror. For 15 minutes. I finger the too large gowns that open in the front. And then someone knocks on the door asking if I'm OK. I say yes, but am I? No. With all the seemingly back-to-back bullshit that's been finding its way to me, no, I am not OK. But I stare in the mirror at this unsure person who I don't believe I've looked at all morning and shake my head no while saying yes out loud. When I come out, there are three women waiting to change....more
thanks for this post. i remember the shocked thoughts in my head after finding a lump & having ...more