My Best Friend Doesn't Give the Best Birthday Gifts

My Best Friend Doesn't Give the Best Birthday Gifts

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

My best friend always gives me turquoise jewelry for my birthday, which would be great except it's totally not my style. She's been doing it for about 10 years, so how am I supposed to now admit that I don't like it? I usually just regift it or give it to my daughter, but it would be nice to get something I actually like! Am I being ungrateful?!


Unturquoise Me!

turquoise jewelry

Credit Image: Maegan Tintari on Flickr

Dear Unturquoise Me,

How can you not like turquoise jewelry? It’s so bluish and greenish and semi-precious. And it really makes my eyes pop! Please reconsider.

Unless it’s because you are a human being, with your own taste and likes and dislikes? That sounds a little “out there” to me, but I suppose anything is possible. Actually, what I find the most alarming about your question is that in 10 years your best friend has never once noticed that you don’t wear the jewelry that she gifted you. Unless you have been going through a routine of donning the turquoise whenever she is around, in which case I totally understand why she showers you with it.

For me the question about gifts (besides, “how do I get more?”) is – should it be something that the giftee wants or something that the gifter wants to introduce the giftee to? When I was a teenager, for years, every gift I gave my parents was soap on a rope, just because I thought it was an amazingly clever novelty item. At some point my dad had to gently tell me that he was all set in the soap on a rope department and no longer had storage space for the overflow. So it wasn’t about what I as a gifter wanted to give. On the other hand, if you know that I love Godiva chocolates (extra-large box, please), do you give me that, year after year, or do you try to expand my palate with some delicacies that you yourself enjoy? 

You are going to have to bring this up with your friend. If her birthday is coming up, ask her for suggestions of what she would like to receive and offer some as to what you would like for yours. And even if her birthday is nowhere close, you can say something casual, like “Hey, you know what I’d love for my birthday?” If she brings up the turquoise, let her know that you appreciate it, but that it is now more your daughter’s style than yours. Chances are she didn’t buy stock in turquoise and will be happy to get you a gift that you will enjoy.

Good luck,

Marinka, TMH

Related Posts

My Friend Thinks My Baby is a Bore

I have a 6-month-old daughter, but one of my friends doesn't have any kids. Every time I start to talk about my daughter and the whole experience of being a mother, I can just tell that she couldn't care less. This hurts me, because she is one of my oldest friends and I would expect her to support me with this huge, huge part of my life. Can this friendship be saved?   Read more >

Awkward Friend Moments: You're Not Invited To My Party!

Dear Mouthy Housewives,I am planning a surprise party for my husband. I decided not to invite an old friend because we've grown apart and she and her husband never show up for anything, anyway. Of course, I was standing in a store with a giant cardboard cutout of my husband that I had made for the party and I run into her. So awkward. I think I mumbled something about being late for a doctor's appointment and ran out of there practically tripping over the cardboard cutout. What do I do now? I feel terrible.Signed,What Makes You Think I'm Having a Party?!   Read more >

I Don't Want to Come to Your Jewelry Party

Dear Mouthy Housewives,My new friend is selling one of those jewelry lines. Stella and Bella or whatever. The jewelry is not exactly my taste, but I feel bad not buying anything. She hasn't pressured me at all, however I don't want this to jeopardize a new friendship. Should I just buy something?Signed,Keep Your Crown Jewels Away From Me      Read more >


In order to comment on, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.