"Maybe it will be a boy"
A friend of mine just announced her pregnancy. It's baby #3 after two girls, and it took no time at all for the "maybe it will be a boy!" comments to start. Let me tell you something about "maybe it will be a boy"....
Do you realize what that sounds like? It sounds like "Maybe you'll get an heir", "Maybe you'll make your husband happy", "Maybe you'll succeed this time", "Maybe you'll finally be complete". Guess how many penises I need in my life to feel complete? None. No seriously, none. I'm thrilled with my husband, and he's enough. In fact, some days one is more than enough. Can I get an Amen?
When the Sailor and I started talking about having a third child it had nothing to do with gender. We'd make comments here and there about having a baby again; experiencing it now that we're older, giving the twins a sibling, and having a full house. When the chatter got serious we started talking names for fun. Well, I started and he was somewhat patient, but it was the talk of boys names that pushed him over the edge - coupled with the fact that I needed another baby and he wanted to make me happy. Did I want a son? Not really. I would've been happy either way, but I prefer to be mom to girls. Did he want a son? Of course. When baby turned out to be a girl, he was briefly disappointed. He never once said it, but I knew. You want someone to pass your hopes and wisdom to, and that's a reflective dream.
I know the Sailor was disappointed that he didn't get a boy out of four kids. I also know that he doesn't dwell on it. He doesn't blame me at all, obviously, and he doesn't love or adore his children any less. I know that I am thrilled, THRILLED that I have all girls. I won't go into why, because many of you have sons. Also because, we're going to be happy with what we've got. That's how it works. If you're disappointed in the sex of your child to the point that you're bitter, you're a parent for the wrong reasons.
My point is, there's no prize for having sons. This isn't the 1700's... or China. There's no right gender balance. God gives you what you're meant to have, and every combination is special in it's own way. So the next time your friend is pregnant, consider that they might just want another baby regardless of sex, or that they got drunk one night and then came baby [ahem], but don't project the "maybe it will be a ___" crap on to a pregnant women. They're under enough pressure to do everything perfectly without having to worry about growing the right sex organ.