Maybe if there were polka dots on my ass I might like it better
And you know what they say about old dogs and new tricks.
That said, this old dog is getting to a point where she’s ready to throw in the towel and trot forth to try a new trick or two. To raise a white WTF flag and wag the daylights out of her formerly inhibited, self-loathing hindquarters. Shake, shake, shake! Shake, shake, shake! Shake your booty!
If leopards can change their spots, why can’t I by PRETENDING I have them?
So when next I go out – in black jeans, dark pencil skirt, or elegant LBD – don’t be fooled. Beneath them, proudly rolling and waving, is a multi-colored, jewel toned, polka dot bedecked, bedazzling ass of my own making. And it’s just fine.
I will share my ass, too, with my friends. NOT literally, of course. Mooning or weird sex is SO not me. But, when it comes to confiding the secret responsible for my new outlook, you had better believe I’ll be wanton as hell.
How many of my friends will hop on the polka dot bandwagon with me, I wonder? My pal H may, though more than likely she will color the body part she most dislikes about herself Lakers purple and gold. And B – Scottish to her core – she will pick a tasteful, understated plaid. As for my friend who refuses to believe me when I swear no woman I know gives a damn about size, perhaps he will opt for elongating stripes.
Oh, why didn’t I think of this sooner? I am having such fun.
Yes, shake, shake, shake!
Thank you, Deb Hathaway. Thank you for your post on declaring an official polka dot day. It set the first domino in motion –more polka dots! – and inspired this post.
But let’s make Polka Dot Day every day – how about that?
TO READ BLOGGER DEB HATHAWAY’S POST ON POLKA DOTS and other assorted topics, VISIT www.debhathoway.com
To READ MORE OF MY ESSAYS, VISIT BLOGHER OR WWW.MICHAELWHOKNEW.COM