Magical Thinking is indeed going on in my head. "If I just have a bit of chocolate, it won't make a difference." "If I start eating well tomorrow instead of today, then I can just really focus and not eat anything for two weeks and be ten pounds thinnner."
I remember this happening before. It's my brain revolting against the impending change and the effort of trying to lose some weight and trying to stick with it. Sticking with it is the hardest. So far, I haven't actually told myself I'm committing myself to the process. That's good because it gives me the chance to practice eating healthy and exercise daily without the guilt of breaking that committment.
But boy - it does need to change.
We went to dinner last night and I ate the full meal and a soft serve ice cream and then came home and broke into that chocolate. Honestly, the off-road eating I do is a trigger for the addiction part of my brain. I just plain old need to steer clear of the processed foods, the sugars, the grains, the dairy and then I don't have those cravings.
There's a cookbook I really like (21 Day Sugar Detox) that has a lot of good recipes in it and all of the recipes are low in natural sugars. The idea is that if you clean your system of the constant high input of sugar, you'll feel better and be better able to resist all the temptations. I'm so on board with it and every time I eat well, I do feel better and the inflammation in my body does go down and my joints feel better.
Magical Thinking isn't going to cut it.
Today has started off well. I had a healthy breakfast of sweet potato, kimchi and eggs cooked with coconut oil. I did some work. I went to the gym and did 28 minutes (14 minutes to warm up and then again at the end) of interval training on the treadmill (mainly at a 3.5 pace, but with 4 one minute runs at a 6.5 pace). In between I did some strength training from a book I have. I dont' know much about it, but I'm going to try to stick to the workout plan if I can.
And then I came home, had lunch, and found myself wanting some chocolate. Dangnabit. I would have too, except that there was a comment from Elaine on my last blog post and that made me realize that I can't keep saying, "I'll start tomorrow" whenever I want to go off track.
Am I committed? Oh gag groan I don't want to say yes, but if I don't say yes, then I might never! And what does committed even mean. I am exercising every day and I'm mainly eating decent foods, but I'm eating a lot of calories and my weight is not going to drop unless I adjust that.
Oh sigh groan - if anybody else wants to start today, that would be great - I'm going to start tracking my dang calories and put it back to real life data. The number of calories going into my body should marginally less than the amount of calories I'm using up in a day. All that work on the treadmill this morning only took off like a square of last night's chocolate - not good.
1200-1500 calories a day - here I very unhappily (but willingly come) for the following 10 days (because then I travel and hope to maintain till I get back)
I'm not going to lose 10 pounds before my trip and look sexy and svelte, but I might lose 1-4 pounds of fat and I might look a bit more slender if I do those workouts consistently. And most importantly, I'll feel better. And then, if I feel better, I'll be more likely to maintain the weight during my travels (maybe) and more likely to get back on board once I get home.
Good bye Magical Thinking. Hello Numbers Game.