The Lower 48
I just read a very cool article about narcissism in Salon. It was written by an author fed up with people ascribing the traits of “sensitive” and “introverted” to people who were actually douche-nozzles. There are, as he pointed out, two kinds of narcissist.
First, there is the overt narcissist like Donald Trump who is so full of himself he doesn’t even understand that normal, decent people find him repellant and only innate kindness keeps a good person from calling him on it. Thank the Lord, I am NOT a good person so I will totally hold him up as the exemplary asshat he is.
Then there is the covert narcissist. They are more common, and keep their pathetic attempts to control and manipulate others very passive aggressive. They whine that they are “nice guys” and insist their “niceness” is why the bitches they pretend to be friends with won’t fuck them. The have grandiose dreams of their own awesomeness, and they are convinced that it is only the stupid, insensitivity of the lesser “others” that keeps them from being lauded as the geniuses they are. These twatwaffles sulk a LOT and are always sure that they should have better things, be treated better, have better looking mates … and only their mommies agree with them.
Both the asshat and the twatwaffle actively work my nerves.
The article also included the test:
Maladaptive Covert Narcissism Scale (MCNS)*
Please answer the following questions by deciding to what extent each item is characteristic of your feelings and behavior. Fill in the blank next to each item by choosing a number from this scale:
1 = very uncharacteristic or untrue, strongly disagree
2 = uncharacteristic
3 = neutral
4 = characteristic
5 = very characteristic or true, strongly agree
- ___ I can become entirely absorbed in thinking about my personal affairs, my health, my cares or my relations to others.
- ___ My feelings are easily hurt by ridicule or the slighting remarks of others.
- ___ When I enter a room I often become self-conscious and feel that the eyes of others are upon me.
- ___ I dislike sharing the credit of an achievement with others.
- ___ I feel that I have enough on my hand without worrying about other people’s troubles.
- ___ I feel that I am temperamentally different from most people.
- ___ I often interpret the remarks of others in a personal way.
- ___ I easily become wrapped up in my own interests and forget the existence of others.
- ___ I dislike being with a group unless I know that I am appreciated by at least one of those present.
- ___ I am secretly “put out” or annoyed when other people come to me with their troubles, asking me for their time and sympathy.
- ___ I am jealous of good-looking people.
- ___ I tend to feel humiliated when criticized.
- ___ I wonder why other people aren’t more appreciative of my good qualities.
- ___ I tend to see other people as being either great or terrible.
- ___ I sometimes have fantasies about being violent without knowing why.
- ___ I am especially sensitive to success and failure.
- ___ I have problems that nobody else seems to understand.
- ___ I try to avoid rejection at all costs.
- ___ My secret thoughts, feelings, and actions would horrify some of my friends.
- ___ I tend to become involved in relationships in which I alternately adore and despise the other person.
- ___ Even when I am in a group of friends, I often feel very alone and uneasy.
- ___ I resent others who have what I lack.
- ___ Defeat or disappointment usually shame or anger me, but I try not to show it.
Now, add up all your answers to get your “score”. If you score below 40 you might be a saint. If you score around the 60s you are a normal person. If you scored more than an 82 you are a shithead. You become an official narcissistic anus-polyp when you score 97 or higher. The maximum score possible is 115. We’ll call that a Trump.
As for myself, I scored a 48. I am by no means a saint. It looks like have lower-than-average narcissism but I am not sure what is “average” for an Asperger person. I might be dead average for one of us spectrum dwellers. But at least I have the satisfaction of knowing I am less than 1/2 as pus-filled as Donald Trump. That makes me feel very smug.
Ack! Does my smugness make me an narcissist??