Why Shouldn't I Let My Leg Hair Grow in the Winter?
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
Do women still need to shave their legs in the winter months? I say they don't, but my friends all insist that I'm wrong and that I need to use a razor to stay smooth and feel sexy and attractive. Personally, I don't see the point, because I usually wear long pants and boots and it's not like I'm married or even have a boyfriend. What do you think? Hair or no hair?
Dear Princess Hairy,
I'm assuming you're in your 20s because any woman in her 40s wouldn't ask this question. No, we're far too busy lovingly running our hands through our five-inch-long thigh hair that we've come to consider a beloved family pet. It's true! In fact, my friend Janice's legs recently won second place in the Dallas-Fort Worth Fancy Cat show. She says she would have won first place if there hadn't been a few snarls near her knees, but there's no way to prove that, of course. Plus, those Persians always win those shows because they're groomed within an inch of their nine lives and also have pedicures and—where were we?
Ah, yes! To shave or not to shave. Well, there are definitely valid arguments for doing it year-round. "It's better for the skin, a proper lady has smooth legs, you always want to be prepared for intimate situations, it's advisable to be hairless when swimming solo across the English channel, etc." So please keep all of those reasons in mind when deciding whether or not to toss your razor when the windchill drops.
However, I'm also going to tell you something that I wish I'd known when I was your age. Ready? Here it is: You're a grown-ass woman, and you can do whatever the hell you want to do.
If you never want to shave again for the rest of your life, it's your decision. Grow your leg hair so long it looks like you just adopted a reggae singer? It's up to you. It's your body. I mean, it's not like you and your shaved friends will be up on stage competing in the Hott Leggs competition come January, right? And even if you are, there's a good chance you and your Sweater Legs might even win it. (Unless Janice and her pet thighs show up.)
In summary, do what you want to do, Hairball Baby. Shave, don't shave, let the winter wind whip gloriously through your ankle hair, who cares? It's your decision.