Lack of Resolve

Lack of Resolve

"Just Do It!"  Such great words.  Such exciting potential.  SO not easy.  I'm so dang typically human.  And yet, I know that there is a great truth to that phrase of just getting down and doing it.

Alas, I'm not at that point.   I'm still stuck in my sugar cravings.  I'm still stuck without any good motivating reasons to get healthy smack dab in the front of my brain.  I've got plenty of good reasons to be healthy, but they're hidden behind the sugar cravings.  It's funny how I didn't even think I used to be a sugar type of person, but I'm aware of it now.

So...if you didn't pick up on it...I'm still having fun with the sugar.  I opted for a dark chocolate bar purchase the other day over milk chocolate, but I didn't like it.  Of course, I couldn't throw it out because that would be wasteful so I ate it anyway.  I tried a different dark chocolate - same story.  Today, I picked up the Lindt Chili Chocolate - that was good.  But, um, that's a LOT of chocolate to have gone through in three days.

However, for the good news, it wasn't more than it was!  It wasn't the cheese rolls or donuts from the deli case at the store.  It wasn't twinkies or hoho's or frozen pizza.  It wasn't a container of Ben and Jerry's ice cream.  It was chocolate - just a lot of chocolate.

My meals at home have been good and wholesome.  This morning we had sweet potatoes, arugula and eggs.  For lunch, I had leftover red curry of lamb, cauliflower and zucchini.  For dinner, I plan on roasted chicken with red beets and tomatoes.  It's good stuff.

I've been meditating every day again and I found a new guided meditation I like.  I feel an openness during the meditation that I'm hoping to bring into my daily life and I'm aware that I am bringing into my daily life a bit.  I'm more open with folks - heartier "hellos" and sincere open smiles.  It's happening.

I paid bills this morning and got some things done that I'd been putting off.  That's one of the positives of meditation.  I learn that it's just easier to not stress over the things I'm putting off and instead just do them without stress.  Easier said than done.

So good things are happening.

The downsides are the exercise and the eating.  I did not exercise for 20 minutes yesterday.  I have not yet for today.  Normally I'd go to an hour long yoga class this evening, but I have no sitter.  Perhaps I could find one (but then I'd need to pick up my house and clean the bathroom) or perhaps I could exercise at home.  GAG!

And this is what it boils down to: a lack of resolve.  I'm so good at picturing the vision of my future me and so good at knowing what needs to be done (eat well and exercise), but the carrying it out....another story.  It's why I'm human.  It's why I'm a regular happy kind of person. for today....with hoped for plans (not set-in-stone plans) of fitting in 20 minutes of exercise and hoped for plans (not set-in-stone plans) of sticking to healthy foods and healthy portions.

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