Getting a Jump Start on Better Sex in Midlife and Elder Years

Getting a Jump Start on Better Sex in Midlife and Elder Years

Enjoying great sex as a postmenopausal woman can take a little extra effort. Personally, while I rely on the testosterone part of my HRT to help me with sex drive, sexual satisfaction, and sexual function “at my age,” I also practice some other tricks of sexual science. If you are midlife or older (especially if you are menopausal or older) you may need these tricks.


couple watching fireworks
Image:Patrik Jones via Flickr

Tricks of Sexual Science for Better Sex in Midlife

Forget your body image for an hour.

I can have low self-esteem sometimes regarding my body. I can get distracted if I see my belly pouch while on top during intercourse.

In fact, 30% of women in heterosexual relationships say that their body image negatively impacts their sexual function.

One interesting study found that if women masturbated in a room by themselves in front of a mirror, even if they had a negative body image, they got turned on and orgasmed more readily than they did with a partner. This study suggested that the sexual squelching aspect of the negative image wasn't due to their bodies and seeing them during sex, but rather due to concerns about how they appeared to their partner.

But let’s remember: Men want sex! It’s likely that he isn’t nearly as hung up about your body as you are if you just keep having sex with him.

Use your romance novels, favorite movies, or even porn to get turned on.

If the chapter you are reading in your book is making you horny, DO NOT turn the page. Unplug the distractions and go for it.

Many younger women don’t prefer and frankly don’t need pornography or erotica, but it is very normal to become more interested in trying these stimulators as you age.

Keep your sense of humor and be honest if scenes make you hot or not. If they are just grossing you out or making you laugh, turn it off!

Work on his erection.

75% of women say that their sexual fulfillment increases when their man has a strong erection.

Did you know that for the aging male, Erectile Dysfunction meds don’t just ensure he has an erection but they help increase the overall size of the erection in some men?

Surveys show that women are often the drivers asking their husbands to use ED meds, for the very fact that women like the better erection!

Remember, we are hard-wired biologically to better respond to harder penises, it turns us on more too. Men’s penile body changes happen slowly and you may not be noticing a loss in the size and hardness of his erection until one day you realize: “Wow, he is different than before.” Have him try some ED meds if appropriate and use blow jobs and hand manipulation to help him get an erection. It is absolutely normal for him, as he ages past 40, to have issues with erections. Part of good older couple sex is protecting your orgasm by protecting his!

- Dr. E

Science can help us nurture and enjoy our sexual selves.


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