How to Handle Neighbors Who Worm Their Way into Your Pool

How to Handle Neighbors Who Worm Their Way into Your Pool

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

Help! I think some neighbors are just being friendly to me so I'll invite them over to use my swimming pool. They're never nice to me in the winter. How should I handle this? It's making me crazy.

Signed,

Paula with the Pool

 

feet in the pool

 

 

Credit Image: Julien Haler on Flickr

 

Dear Paula with the Pool,

Stop inviting them over to use your swimming pool.

Signed,

Kelcey, The Mouthy Housewives

Wait, you want something more elaborate? Clearly, if your neighbors are jerks to you in the winter and then take one look at your sparkling, refreshing oasis of chlorine when a hot blanket of humidity descends on the neighborhood and suddenly are sweet as honey, they are using you. If they try to rent a cabana, then you know for sure their intentions are nefarious. Tell them and their rolling cooler to take a hike.

In your neighbor's sweaty defense, oppressive heat can alter one's judgement. I can attest to this, because I recently moved to Florida. The temperatures were so unbearable in August that I told my children snow cones were an acceptable option for dinner, so we all ate snow cones, followed by ice cream.

So maybe, deep down inside their psyche, your neighbors know the right thing to do is drive on down to the local YMCA pool and swim with hundreds of children, most of whom are potty trained. But in their fragile, overheated state, they decide to just bake you an apple pie so they can worm their way into your pool instead. Don't be fooled by their amateur tactics.

These neighbors are obviously not people you should consider friends. And you have all the power here; the choice is up to you. You can either deny them entrance to your pool (and invite some true friends over) or figure out what your neighbors can give you in return. I mean, more than an apple pie. Like how about a few bottles of wine? Or rather a case. And some fresh flowers would be nice. And maybe they could do camp pick-ups this week. And a gift certificate for the day spa. That should do it. Or else? Hello, YMCA.

Good luck,

Kelcey, The Mouthy Housewives

Related Posts

My Baby Stole My Awesome Body And Won't Give It Back!

I’m smart. So smart that I convinced my husband that having our children 15 months apart was a good thing. So I have a 16-month-old and a 4-week-old, and I love them both. But my body is a wreck, and my self-esteem has suffered to the point that I’m afraid to initiate sex with my husband for fear of rejection! I am wondering if you have any ideas for toning and strengthening muscles (both inside and out, if you catch my drift) because I can’t tell if I’m doing those stupid kegels right.  Meanwhile, I fear that if these bat wings (aka arms) get any worse, I’ll be swooping into my kids’ rooms in the middle of the night for the (many, many) feedings.   Read more >

I'm Snooping on My Neighbors! What's Wrong with Me?

Dear Mouthy Housewives,I work at home and have developed a very strange problem: I can't stop spying on my neighbors. The houses in my neighborhood are all very close to each other, so I can see people in their backyards, front yards and sometimes I can even see into my next-door-neighbor's living room. It's not like I'm watching them do anything that exciting, really, but I still can't help myself. I'm even tempted to invest in a pair of binoculars. Why am I so snoopy?Sneaky Sue   Read more >

Help! I'm Hosting Thanksgiving and I Don't Cook

Dear Mouthy Housewives,My husband invited his parents over to our house for Thanksgiving. That's okay, but I'm a horrible cook and very busy with work. Would it be rude to buy the meal premade?   Read more >

Comments

In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.