How to Find Sexy Underwear That Won’t Give You a Wedgie. Comment to Win $150 Spa Gift Card
When I was a kid my mom bought me white cotton briefs. They were the biggest panties you’ve ever seen. They were not only embarrassing because of their gigantic size, but also because the name of the discount retailer where she bought them was printed on the elastic waistband no less than 20 times.
This made changing clothes in the middle school locker the highlight of every school day.
I mentioned this to her on several occasions -- how she was ruining my life -- so she went back to the same store and bought the same cotton briefs, only in bright colors.
Great, now I was the loser wearing hot pink granny panties emblazoned with the name of a discount retailer.
When I went off to college I not only got to set my own curfew, but I got to choose and purchase my own underwear. It’s the first time in my life I remember feeling completely and one hundred percent liberated. It was amazing.
Panty options in the early nineties went from your classic cotton brief (which still to this day causes my left eye to twitch) to the very skanky, as in why even bother wearing under garments, bizarre.
I decided I was more of a middle of the road kind of girl. I wore bikini cut cotton underwear. To fancy it up a little I bought an array of designs: leopard print, zebra stripes, polka dots, and peace signs. I was really going wild.
The problem with panties (if you ask most women) is the presence of panty lines. That’s why thong underwear was even invented. Because surely it wasn’t for reasons such as comfort. I know. I’ve tried wearing thong underwear and I would just like to say that I have spent most of my life keeping my panties OUT of my crack—why would I want them in there ON PURPOSE?
But let’s face facts here. Cotton underwear, no matter how you cut it, isn’t at all sexy. And sometimes, when the mood is right, you need and want, and must be sexy. Men are visual animals and all that BS, so they need pretty packaging when imagining what your vagina looks like under all those sparkles. Because apparently their brains tell them yours somehow looks different from everyone else’s.
If I’m being completely honest, I hate underwear. If I must wear it I buy Hanky Panky brand panties because while they are basically thongs, they’re One Size Fits Most, so they’re stretchy. They’re lacy and they send a message that says Understated Sexy. Which has become my mantra in life in general.
But mostly me and my vagina go commando. I blame my mother.
What’s your choice for wedgie-free sexy underwear? Thong, commando, or are you on a personal mission to make the cotton panty sexy?
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Previously in V Talk:
Read Week 1: From Kitty to Vajayjay: Why So Many Euphemisms?
Read Week 3: Why I Love The Granny Panty
Read Week 4: (Very) Personal Grooming Mishaps
Read Week 5: Top 10 Ways to Decorate Your V
Read Week 7: I Go to Rio...
Read Week 8: The Tragedy of VPL
This sweepstakes is now closed. Thanks to everyone who entered! Please check back for our next sweepstakes launching September 20, 2011.