These Are My Breasts, Not Sex Objects

These Are My Breasts, Not Sex Objects

Unlike Growing Up Skipper dolls, real women don’t have arms that turn back the aging process, and their boobs, like the rest of their bodies, change as they grow older.  At some point naturally bigger breasts lose their “perkiness” and whatever perceived social advantages having big boobs supposedly come with get taken away. Instead, you are the recipient of comments like, “Ever thought of a breast lift?” Or, “You must be wearing a push-up bra!” And then you feel bad for feeling bad that your breasts, like the rest of you, are getting older.

What would my experience of my breasts have been like if they hadn’t been objectified so much?  I will never know. Then again, why not start relating to them differently now?

I decided to sit front of my mirror and really see my breasts: Is it okay I’m even doing this? As if looking at my own chest was somehow tawdry.

Cue the voice inside my head: I’m checking myself out… no I’m not… so what if I am…  this isn’t that! Followed by the realization that despite having had breasts all my life, I’d never really seen them.

Sure, I’d looked at my boobs before—scrutinized them even, to try and figure out what everyone else was fussing about—but to actually see them for their own sake, the way you would something or someone you want to know personally—never. I didn’t even know they were slightly asymmetrical. And then, more thoughts and observations: Is that a mole right there? I wonder if my boobs resemble my grandmother’s? Thank goodness they are healthy!  I think I love them… and on and on.

It was as if by seeing them directly, rather than through the filter of someone else’s gaze or perception, I was able to have my own experience of my boobs that was outside the construct of objectification that they had been imprisoned in for so long.

These are my breasts—they are not sex objects that happen to be attached to my body. They are part of my body, part of me.


Originally posted on Stories From The Belly and posted with permission.

 Diahann Reyes blogs at

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