Five things.

Five things.

I said I wasn't going to do it. You know, participate in this month's NaBloPoMo. Well, I am not officially participating because I will be "off the grid" for my 7 day cruise and I will not be able to post so I am going renegade and just posting if I see a prompt that makes me want to write.

Listing 5 interesting things about me is one such prompt.

 

1) I talk to myself pretty much constantly. All day. Sometimes out loud, always in my head. It makes me sound crazy and I suppose I am a bit...but it helps me to 'work it out'...whatever "IT" is.

2) I over-supervise my daughters while they do their homework. By "over-supervise", I mean that I practically do the work for them. It is such a huge character flaw that just by admitting it here, I feel horribly shamed. My eldest daughter is on the honor roll though so my uber supervision does not cause her to score poorly on the tests. BTW: I do not sneak in and take the tests for her. Just FYI. My younger daughter hates my "help" and she would rather do a crap ass, half ass job then let me take it over and make it awesome. Her report card sometimes reflects her poor choice. Ahem.

3) I do not want to have sex every night. This is probably not considered interesting but my husband says I "used to want to have sex every night". I find this to be upsetting. I wish I wanted to have sex every night because THAT would be interesting. But I don't, and that is just the fact. My husband has assured me that he will not leave me because of this "change" but he has committed to reminding me that I used to be all about nightly sex and now I am not and he isn't as delightfully happy about it as he thinks I am. Ying and Yang.

4) I am not an animal lover. I am not a hater either. I find animal obsessed people to be annoying. I live in a house with a cat, 2 dogs, 5 fish and 3 people who LOVE animals. My extended family is dog obsessed. Be that my sister(s), my SIL (both) and my MIL. I am fine with animals; I just don't think they are people. I don't want dog kisses or to have a convo with our dogs. I don't want to talk about the pets all the dang time. I feed them. Board them when we travel and care for them via Vet checks and emergency care. But, it's not my thing and that is a fact.

5) My skin has failed me. I relied on my flawless complexion for 44 of my 51 years on this planet. Now my skin sucks. I am wrinkled and sagging and I am beyond upset about it. Yes, I spent countless hours basking/baking in the sun. Years of it in the Arizona sun. I did so much damage before the age of 22 that now that it has surfaced I am filled with self-loathing. I used to swim so much that when my nose burned, and then peeled; it would show the actual "fleshy" part...some 6 layers down. It is horrifying to think of the damage I have done and that I am here, living inside this sag bag of wrinkling flesh by my own hand. Not much can be done, no matter what product claims it can "reverse the signs of aging". I will just have to smile through the off handed comments about whether I am my daughters' grandmother or not. It is good for me to live with the consequences of my poor choices.

Super interesting stuff no?

I need a good cry now. Some exfoliation and a porno flick. Probably will opt for a shower and a short walk down a big hill instead. I will use sunscreen. Even though it is fully cloudy outside. Damn.

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