A BlogHer "First Time in Forever"

A BlogHer "First Time in Forever"

The following, ladies and gentlemen, is what happens when you leave the soundtrack to Disney's Frozen in my car. I listen to it, sing by myself (loudly), and come up with weird crap to do. Case in point? Behold, our debut Blogging Betties Short—a BlogHer First Time in Forever.

 

The kicker to this? You guys really need to listen to our podcast with Deva Dalporto. You'll hear the inside scoop on how Deva was partially responsible for this crazy little parody. True, it was brewing for some time, but I frankly lacked the ovaries to get it done. Thanks to Deva, I'm singing. In public. On YouTube.

Also at fault, my fellow Betties, Poppy Marler and Vanita Cyril. At this point, they're pretty much up for anything that might embarrass one of us. So if your ears are bleeding, please direct all complaints to them...

Just in case of mumbling, here are the lyrics. Thanks for watching Betties!

BlogHer First Time in Forever

A BlogHer First Time in Forever

Go get the suitcase from upstairs.
This one’s Hello Kitty but I don’t care.
Who knew I had 8,000 pairs of jeans (and not one frickin’ dress?).
For years I’ve roamed these messy halls
With maybe a side trip to the mall.
Finally I’m going to take the leap.
They’ll be actual in-real-life people.
Not just in front of a screen.
Oh my god I hope nobody’s mean.

‘Cuz for the first time in forever,
There’ll be parties, there’ll be fun.
For the first time in, like, ever
I might get sponsored by someone.
Grab my laptop and my iPad
And my charger and my phone
‘Cuz for the first time in forever
I get to be alone.

Well, I mean alone with like 2,000 people alone
But at least I get to pee alone...

Imagine me in the convention hall
Working hard to blend into the wall
And plotting out some witty thing to say.
I’m wishing I wore some different shoes
But maybe they’ll feel better with some booze.
Damn where did they get this cabernet?
Then I meet a group of people
And they don’t recognize me at all.
Who knew photoshop made me look tall?

‘Cuz for the first time in forever
We’ll actually have to meet.
For the first time in forever
We won’t answer with a tweet.
I can’t help but be excited
And yet terrified with glee
‘Cuz for the first time in forever
This just for me.

Don’t show the mess.
Don’t let them know.
Take filter pics and make them pinnable.
Wear heels.
Seel deals.
Be sure to tweet.
Take selfies or it’s like you didn’t meet.
And I’ll finally be free...
I’ll finally be free...
This party’s just for me...
Wait, this party’s not for me?
Tell them to let in the VIPs!
Oh well!

For the the first time in forever,
I’m finally in the game.
I might model clothes for Macy’s
Or get tricked by some Dove campaign.
And I know it all ends tomorrow
So I’m glad I brought this bag
‘Cuz for the first time in forever
For the first time in forever
I’m taking all this swag!

 

Tammy Soong blogs at World's Worst Moms and does a weekly podcast with her gal pals, the Blogging Betties. You can catch their informative, arguably amusing, PG-13 show on iTunes or hunt them down on Twitter, FacebookPinterest, and Google+

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