I was thinking about this divorce driving to work.
Only way to describe it.
on and on and on
A large knot of entanglement. All balled up. In a mess. A complete and utter mess.
You don’t realize how entangled you become in 15 years of marriage. While you are making the tangles — Emotional tangles. Financial tangles. You just keep knotting and knotting up yourself, your things, your life, with this other person. Entangled together.
Then? You have to untangle and didn’t see THAT coming.
Entangling is WAY easier than UNTANGLING. Entangling happened in a blink. As I lived my life. As I lived the life, I thought was forever. Entangling as I went down the road. Never expected I’d need to get untangled.
Now? I can’t GET this crap UNTANGLED. It’s entangled like a puzzle.
I imagine it as a ball of just screwed up MESS. Me touching this. Him holding that. Both grabbing things. Pulling. Tugging. But? Won’t come loose. Won’t get straightened out.
But? It’s too entangled. Too much of a mess of wires — like behind a TV/DVD/Cable Box/Stereo System. Entangled.
I’m not so good with tangles. Not so good with untangling. But, I’m figuring out how to handle the biggest mess I’ve ever imagined — an entangled broken marriage.
I’ve got one or two strings free. And it feels good. Here’s to untangling the rest of the 100′s I need to finish. I’ll run from entangled to happily untangled.
With a smile and a new ball of string.