Don't Let Anyone Touch My Kid!
What would you do when a caretaker, whether it's a grandparent or sitter do something that you don't agree with or makes you uncomfortable in regards to your child? That's right, you say something! Well, I had one of those moments with my mother in law. My mother in law is a sweet woman. She sees the good in everyone and everything. She would talk to anyone and would have a conversation for hours and to her it's like she made a new best friend. I like that she is a free spirited person grew up in the hippie era, everyone was wild and free and everybody loves everybody. When she watches The Don, she gives him room to explore and breath without hounding over him. It's a different take on life than when I was growing up where I was sheltered and my parents were paranoid. My mother in law is lax sometimes too relax with The Don and the people that are around him. I don't want to be a parent who is overly protective and paranoid like my parents but I don't want to be relaxed in a sense that I believe everyone is harmless and you shouldn't be cautious. I want to be the parent that's in between. But this situation at the park yesterday afternoon really gave me the creeps.
This picture is showing The Don holding hands with an unknown man and I guess a woman that he knows that was in the park when my mother in law was there. Looking at this picture, The Don seems uncomfortable holding this mans hand. The Don usually is nervous when he puts his fingers in his mouth seen in the picture. When my mother in law sent this picture to me, I flipped out. 'How could she let this man that she just met at the park hold my son’s hand?'
When she brought him home, I asked her,
Me:” Who was the guy holding The Don's hand?"
MIL:"Oh, he was at the park. He's harmless."
Me:” You let a stranger hold my son's hand?"
MIL: "He's not a stranger, I know him. He was a wife and a daughter and I was there with him."
Me: ”You don't know this guy. You had a conversation with him at the park so you don't know him. I'm trying to teach The Don about strangers and don't go with strangers. You're teaching him that it's ok to hold a strangers hand if you just met him."
MIL: "Would it be better if he knows its ok since I'm with him?"
Me: "What if you're not there? You telling him it ok to hold hands and go with a stranger. He's going to think its ok because grandmamma taught him that."
MIL: "Well, you don't teach him that it's ok to go with strangers. What was I suppose to do I wanted to take a picture and I didn't want The Don to run in the street so I had him hold his hand."
I don't know what's worse this strange guy holding The Don hand or she taking pictures of strangers she just met.
Me: "I can't believe you don't understand how this upsets me. Now I'm concerned because I'll think every time you're with him, you'll allow a stranger to touch him."
MIL: "If it bothers you that much, although I don't see anything wrong with what I did, I won't do it anymore."
Me: "Thank you."
See, I felt that I shouldn't have to explain myself to her and I figure it was common sense that you don't allow strangers near your grandchild I don't care how long the conversation you had with this person male or female. My mother in law was good about respecting my wishes from now on to not let strangers touch my son. But now I wonder how many times have she let this happen?
I told my husband what happen, he didn't seem that concerned.
HUS: "I don't know what the context was and I wasn't there."
This isn't a surprise because he would never say that his mother did anything wrong.
Me: "So it's ok that she let a stranger hold your son's hand? That doesn't bother you?"